all duct tape and safety pins inside

Allow me to clarify; in no way am I not using tags or not warning for content. If you've read the story, which I'm assuming you've not based on this comment, you'll see that I have tagged it here with the appropriate (death) warning tags. I've simply utilized the same warning format as anyone who frequents AO3 is thoroughly accustomed to seeing and understanding - namely, an all but neon sign indicating that if you could in any way be triggered by anything within those posted tags, please do not proceed, and if you decide to proceed, then understand that it could hold some type of unspecified content falling within that broad scope.