One whole year!
Feb. 22nd, 2011 12:01 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ohsam is one year old today! You know what that means, right? COMMENT-FIC!Happy anniversary to us, and it's thanks to you, our fantastic members, who consistently come back and hurt Sammy in new and creative ways! \o/
Now, go and commit comment-fic!
SPREAD THE WORD
Ground Rules:
1. This is a Sam-focused hurt/comfort community, so Sam should be the one in the hurt/comforted role. Your prompts may involve sick!Sam, hurt!Sam, angsty!Sam, basically anything that results in Sam being on the receiving end of hurt/comfort. (No rules against whumping other characters as well, of course, but you have to whump Sam first. ;) )
2. Comment to this post with your desired characters or pairings, and a prompt. All genres/pairings are welcome, BUT no RPF/RPS, please. Please focus on the fictional characters only.
Example A: “Sam, Dean, gen, set in season 2. Sam has a vision and passes out. Cue caring!Dean and limp!Sam.”
Example B: “Sam/Dean, trauma. Sam is injured on a hunt, Dean freaks out when he thinks Sam might be dead.”
3. You can leave as many prompts as you like, but please write one prompt per comment. If you've got a few (and feel free to prompt at will!), comment with each separately. This is to keep the meme manageable.
4. Your prompts can be as short or as detailed as you’d like. i.e. "Sam, Dean. Fever." Or a three-paragraph epic with details (
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rainylemons, we're all looking at you!). The more detailed your prompt, the less wriggle room you're giving the writer, though, so bear that in mind.5. Scroll through the comments and when you find a prompt you like, write a fic in reply to the comment. There is no word count limit.
6. More than one comment-fic response to a prompt is totally acceptable, and in fact encouraged. The more fic, the better!
7. When replying to a prompt with your comment-fic, put ‘FILLED’ in your subject line and then anything else you want, ie: a title if you have one/part numbers. It’s not a big deal if you forget this step, but it will make it easier for people to find your fic, and for me when I’m compiling the master list.
8. Anonymous posting is enabled, but I haven't figured out how to turn off I.P. logging. If you're embarrassed by how schmoopy your prompts are, don't worry, we won't tell on you. ;)
9. No spoilers for future episodes. NONE. We will send Missouri after you with a spoon.
10. Standard rules of politeness apply. Do NOT bash any characters. Do NOT say rude things to prompters and writers. In short, don't be a douchebag. The mods will ruthlessly delete any ridiculousness we see.
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In conclusion, have FUN!
Master List
jennytork: Don't care how you do it, but land Sam and Dean in a situation where something that looks really bad, given their history, is the right thing for Sam to do. He has to go all out with his powers, and this time it really is going to change him, he won't be entirely human any more, but it's the only way. He's just gotten Dean's trust back after the soullessness thing and the whole mess of the last three years, and he knows this is going to undermine that. He doesn't trust himself, for that matter, but at a certain point not trusting himself to do the right thing becomes a coward's way out of responsibility. So he's open with Dean, but he has to go through with it. And Dean is angry and bitter and suspicious, and Sam knows he deserves that, but he does what has to be done. And he's hurt, he's hurt real bad. Will Dean be able to treat this injured, not entirely human thing as Sam, as his brother? Too High.anonymous: A small town's "Haunted Village" turns out to be actually haunted. Sam and Dean show up in time to evacuate most of the school groups before things get too crazy, but they end up stuck in a corn maze with a kindergarten class and its very scared young teacher when all hell breaks loose.
Sam's arm or leg or something gets crushed/snapped/mangled and he's doing his best to keep it together for the kids and their teacher all the while trying to get everyone to safety. Dean is awesomely awesome, doing his best not to draw too much attention to Sam's injury so as not to freak anyone else out, but making sure Sam is all right every few minutes nonetheless. Untitled.
sistabro: Sam's visions and nightmares developed at a much earlier age. The more they progress, the harder it is for him to cope and keep his grip on reality. The headaches and lack of sleep eventually become too much and he turns to cutting to keep himself grounded. Cue awesome big brother Dean who does what he can by coaxing him through the hard times (I'd love a scene where Dean takes a knife from Sam's hand and mention of how he reacts to seeing fresh cuts on Sam's arm), but knows he ultimately can't make Sam stop and it could be something that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Counting Bodies Like Sheepradiumgirl: Sam has an unfortunate altercation with a hellhound, and he's not fatally injured, but he's cut up, and in a lot of pain. As if THAT wasn't enough, the encounter also acts as a trigger: the wall cracks just a little more, and his mind is thrown back into Hell. He's seizing, flailing and suffering and making his injuries worse; Dean's trying to take control of the situation, even though he's horrified and panicked at Sam's memories coming back, and also at the very implications of hellhounds in his own life: his death, Jo's death. This Time and the Last Time.phreakycat: Ever since his week of reliving Hell, Sam's started crying in his sleep. He can't/won't cry during the day, but every night when his defenses are down he sobs and sobs in his sleep. This makes sleeping difficult for Dean, obviously. So Dean decides he's clearly got to do something to help. He's got to get Sam to cry during the daytime so that they can have a chick flick moment and Sam can let go of some of his angst. Turns out, despite all of Dean's "you're an emo girl" teasing over the years, getting Sam to cry is easier said than done. It's In My Honey, It's In My Milk.
glovered: When we see that flashback at the beginning of Unforgiven, Samuel and Sam are walking out talking about Sam's wound. Well I noticed that he's bleeding and shot or stabbed in the arm. Hurt!Sam isn't good, sure BUT what I really noticed was that Sam was wearing his BROWN HOODIE. Which now has a HOLE in the ARM. Fast forward to present and maybe Dean finds the ripped hoodie and mends it for Sam. Maybe even soulless!Sam kept it because it was the first piece of clothing Dean bought Sam after he lost everything in the fire at Stanford. Cue Sam being touched by the gesture and apologizing again for, ya kno, letting his bro get turned into a vamp and stuff. Our Boots On With Both Hands.
minviendha: Sometime after getting his soul back, Sam falls ill. It's nothing life threatening, but he feels pretty miserable and can't really get out of bed - though he does try. Sam plays it down, but Dean won't have that. Ever since Sam's soul is back and Dean knows it's only a matter of time until the wall breaks and he loses his brother again, Dean is even more overprotective than in his best days, and now Sam's sick, he is in full "Take you medicine!"/"If you get up one more time I'll tie you to the bed!"/"Shut up and let me read you a bedtime story!" big brother mode. Pause.minviendha: Sam decides to stay with his family instead of going to Stanford after his father gives him the ultimatum. The hunting life slowly begins to eat away at Sam, & his family can see it happening. Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees.wave_obscura: Dean has to feed Sam ice chips. Ice Chips.youaredriving: If poison ivy is burned and the smoke then inhaled, this rash will appear on the lining of the lungs, causing extreme pain and possibly fatal respiratory difficulty. Like An Old Biddy.blueeyedliz: Sam's wall cracks again, and this time he's out for much longer than 3 minutes. Dean knows that every second is an eternity, but he can't manage to bring Sam back. He figures the best way to snap Sam back into the here and now is to emphasize the differences/good things about reality. But the opposite of torture is... hugs and puppies? I'd love for this to have some degree of awkwardness to it, cuz it's not like Dean's used to just holding his brother, but Sam needs it (and not-so-secretly likes it) and Dean's going to do whatever it takes. Eventually, when Dean sees Sam uncovering potentially wall-damaging memories, he takes a preemptive approach. Maybe they're both a little sheepish, but, really, neither's going to give up the chance to be close AND stave off hell!seizures at the same time. Gen preferred. The Reluctant Romantic.mercuryblue144Sam still keeps the voicemail from 4x22 even after all this time. He needs not to let himself forget about what he has done and what he is. So whenever Dean smiles at him or talks with him like he really cares, whenever he feels little blip of happiness or normalcy, whenever he thinks he has done something well, whenever he starts believing Dean has forgiven him... he has to reach out to his mobile and listen to the message. This way he can remind himself he cannot be forgiven, that this is what Dean really thinks of him, and that he is living on borrowed time without any hope for atonement. Who Won't Let A Coward Run.
si_star_x: Schmoopy fluffy prompt! *confetti* Something happens where Sam is forced to cut his hair super short and he ends up being really depressed about it. Dean gives him a hard time about it at first because, hey it's just hair it'll grow back, but eventually he sees how much it's really bothering Sam and comforts him like whoa. "Did I ask for a haircut?monicawoe: Sam realises he's being manipulated and turns the tables on Ruby. The BoyKing steps up to the plate and not only gets Dean out of Hell before he can pick up the knife, he forces Ruby to abandon Lilith and serve him.Suddenly there's civil war in Hell and Heaven is completely baffled, so Castiel is sent to find out what's going on. Sam is somehow still fundamentally SAM, though, and manages to hold onto himself. No demon blood. No nothing. Nothing Left To Lose.
monicawoe: So Sam's all put back together again and Robo!Sam, like a good terrifying attack dog, is once again leashed and under the firm management of Sam's soul. Everything is good -- or is it?[Cut for length] Sam's amoral side has gotten stronger in the year it was at large. It devises better plans, faster. Its inner voice is louder and more persuasive -- and when Sam listens, it gets results. [Further cut for length] As Sam struggles to recover Dean's trust and re-examine himself, Sam and Dean sink into a lonely spiral of second-guessing and paranoia -- while the line between Sam and his inner SkyNet ripples and blurs. Don't Worry.
ratherastory: The Jessica Moore Sam was living with at Stanford? Not his adult girlfriend, but his barely out of diapers kid. Mom died in childbirth, took off, whatever, but Sam's left with his baby and when Dean breaks in, he finds Sam alone in a small apartment with his little girl. If That Mockingbird Don't Singradiumgirl: Gen, preseries with a connect to season 6, Dean POV - it sucks when your Boy Scout little brother suffers heatstroke mowing lawns in 110 degree heat because he wants to earn some honest cash. It makes you freak out because, sure, the kid's a giant pain in the ass, but he's kind of your whole world. It sucks more when it happens again years later, not because he's mowing lawns, God don't you just wish, but because it's a 110 degrees and he wandered off into the desert heat during a wall crumbling sort of fugue and he doesn't know you (at first) or what's happening to him and he thinks he's that same snot-nosed teenager in the hospital after a heatstroke, asking when Dad's gonna get there. How do you keep from breaking the kid's heart and maybe ripping down that last shred of wall? You can't tell him Dad's dead and you aren't sure if you should do anything to make him come back to his adult reality because, let's face it, his reality is nothing but pain. But, he's still your world and you still stay by him, comforting and cooling him down and, no not the hospital this time, just a cool bath and rag on the forehead, and your heart breaking into a thousand pieces as you tell him "Dad'll be here soon, Sammy. Shh, he'll be here soon. I promise." Saying you promise is almost like the first step to saying goodbye and it hurts. The Hollow of his Hand.
captainlon: "Appointment in Samarra" fic: Robosam shatters his leg when Bobby springs the trap door on him. It's a compound fracture, but Bobby is content to let him stew in his pain for a little while because, well, it's Robosam. But then he starts to notice Robo drifting into shock, and, dammit, Dean will be so pissed if he comes back with Sam's soul and finds the body dead, so, fine, FINE, Bobby will go tend to Robosam. Except...well...Robosam still really wants to stab Bobby in the neck, so things get a little awkward. Deadly Patient.tversan: Sam's fourteen and at home waiting for John and Dean to come back forms hunt. After a week and a half - three more days that Dad had said - Sam has worked himself into in a panic. They could be hurt, they could be dead, how would Sam know? He calls Bobby and Pastor Jim but neither have heard from John. So he decides to hot-wire a car and go to wherever John and Dean are supposed to be. Except his timing sucks and a couple of cops spot him just as the car starts. He doesn't even have time to run away.I don't know what CPS would do under these circumstances, so if it's easier have John and Dean drive up right then, great, otherwise they can return the next day, perfectly fine. The hunt just took longer than expected. What I want is a fourteen year old Sam in juvie for a couple of weeks. He's small and scared shitless and hand to hand combat is great - when they're not ganging up on you. Juvie.
si_star_x: Sam breaks his leg during a hunt, and badly so. It's shattered, in the puke-your-guts-out painful, going to take a long time to heal and probably will leave him with a limp for the rest of his life kind of way. And all he wants is to lie there and scream, or die or something, but Dean's upstairs, waiting for the thing that attacked Sam, and Sam just found out that their method for killing it doesn't work. So he has to warn Dean, but his cell's broken and Dean's in a soundproof room (or simply out of earshot), somewhere at the top of an awful lot of stairs.But if Sam Winchester can't run to his brother's rescue, he's going to crawl to it. A little pain isn't going to stop him. The Climb.
minviendha: Some demon with insight into the cage (or Lucifer or Michael themselves, however they'd be able to) taunt Dean with stories about things that have been done to Sam in hell. Through the Glass.monicawoe: Someone -- Gordon Walker, Walt and Roy, the gang from Free 2B U & Me, whoever -- has it in for Sam. The kicker? They know enough -- about Sam's past, his powers, his *cough*cravings*cough* weaknesses, his HELL SEIZURES -- to put him through some seriously rough times, and bring the inhuman parts of him right up to the surface.That's before Dean rescues Sam and shoots the crap out of his captors, of course. But by the time he arrives, Sam's already pretty messed up . . . Less and More.
4422shini: Somehow, with bogus insurance and no money our boys always end up alone in their hospital room. But what if that wasn't the case? I want Sam, any injury, stuck sharing a hospital room with the roommie (or family of roomie) from hell. You can make this angsty or comical, just make sure Sam is annoyed beyond belief by having to share a room with someone else. My only stipulation is that the injury is bad enough to keep him there for a couple days, but not so bad that he's unable to gripe and bitch.' Of Hospitals, Roommates and Puke.vail_kagami: While Dean is in the past (4.03 In the Beginning, that would be) angels (Uriel or anyone, really) find Sam. Suffering ensues, however the writer wants to go about it. Dean comes back and flips about three and a half shits. Getting Lower Ever Since.greeneyes_fan: People who deal with crisis, or who live in a situation of long-term, ongoing crisis, develop coping mechanisms, behaviors and even personality traits that are excellent for coping with crisis--but which make for lousy methods of functioning in the real world (i.e. a state of affairs where there is not a crisis going on).What behaviors and traits has Sam acquired in the last few years that maybe he didn't have before, or that are exaggerated versions of earlier ones, which might preclude being able to actually function effectively in ordinary society? Not necessarily the more dramatic possibilities, like the impacts of traumatic memories--what about things like needing to keep constantly busy, or a tendency toward hypervigilance, or a reduced capacity for compassion? Does suppressing his own feelings lead to an inability to empathize with others? Does he feel a sense of relief when something hugely problematic happens because at least this is a situation he knows how to deal with?
Gen, please. Motion Sickness.
quickreaver: Michael and Lucifer fight and they fight over Sam, ripping his soul between their fiery maws like he's a chew toy. [cut for length] Sometimes Michael and Lucifer get caught up in fighting and forget that they're fighting over Sam. [cut some more] hey, it's Hell! NEAT. You don't get to die and Sam lies there, drawing broken breaths through shattered lungs, cast off and forgotten until Lucifer, tired and weary from battle, comes slumping back to him. And he picks up his forgotten toy, drags Sam's limp body to his corner of the cage while he and Michael lick their wounds[further cut]. And there, bit by bit, stitch by stitch, he puts Sam back together again. Kiss With A Fist Is Better Than None.youaredriving: A resouled Sam discovers that not only was he sleeping around, he was also not so interested in the concept of consent. Cue Sam getting flashbacks of Sam raping or killing a woman that leave Sam puking and absolutely horrified. Untitled.killabeez: If someone can just find a way for Sam to give Dean the amulet back, and for Dean to be surprised/genuinely touched/really really grateful, that would be amazing. Especially as an understated (but obvious) thing, because he's supposed to be looking out for Sammy, not the other way around. Maybe Sam's dying, and wants to leave a little bit of himself behind with Dean so he doesn't do anything batshit crazy this time. However you do it is great, I just need the amulet back, and for it to be a good thing. That's Why I Hold With All I Have.27_jaredjensen: sometime season 6, Dean, Sam: Gen bed sharing, forehead feels, neck massage because of headaches, Nyquil, theraflu, hot tea, bad, awful dreams because he can't sleep (you know GOOD sleep), and finally just some good ol' Tussionex which tastes like candy pineapples and has hydrocodone to kill the cough. It also makes Sam sooooooo relaxed until he's sort of floating, in and out, tucked in against Dean on some motel bed somewhere in nowhere land, wrapped in blankets, clutching a roll of toilet paper, and catching random moments of either all of the Lord of the Rings or all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies which Dean watches to pass the time while Sam finally sleeps it off. Medicated. Anonymous: Sam loses his hearing at Stanford. Untitled.
nanoks: Sam comes back from hell cold and touch-starved. He has to be in his hoodie at all times. Maybe he smokes? He's always twitchy and on-edge. He can never just be comfortable. But he has his brother, and his brother does what he can. Wincest is welcome. A Tender Touch.dante_s_hell: Sam's tweaked his back pretty bad, so Dean gives him a massage. Thoroughly. Twist and Shout.de_nugis: Dean settles down in due course with Lisa and Ben. Retires from hunting, because he won't bring his work home with him to endanger his family. Sam tries to do the same, to make a civilian life for himself and be content with his place in Dean's family, but it's hard. He still feels like he should be out there atoning for what he's done, and though Lisa and Ben include him for Dean's sake, he's always a bit on the margins. So he ends up hunting again. He still sees Dean when he can, but he stays away from Lisa's out of the same fear that made Dean retire -- he's not going to have something evil follow him back to Dean's home.And in the end every hunter is going to draw the short straw. Sam gets hurt on a hunt alone, and he knows it's the end. At least he's luckier than most in having an angel on speed dial. He knows Cas isn't allowed to heal him, but what he can do is get Dean. They say their goodbyes. Last Call.
gwendolynd: Sam is flogged within an inch of his life (literally) for whatever reason. Untitled.darth_firefly: Sam's tweaked his back pretty bad, so Dean gives him a massage. Thoroughly. Wincest or gen, but prefer the focus to be on the massage (the pain/pleasure of Dean digging his thumbs in, working out knots, making Sam groan in ways that sound good and bad) instead of sex. Massage.authoressnebula: People begin to disappear, and only Sam seems to notice. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables. Now with a sequel! Everybody Standing Around Us.bythedamned: Sam tries & fail to cope with the fact that Mary sold him before he was even born in exchange for John's life. Cue Dean being an awesome big brother. One to Sell.emmram: After experiencing what a crack in the wall is like, Sam dutifully stops "scratching". After a while, though, he starts to experience migraines and fevers and his general health goes downhill . When he finally collapses, Dean has Castiel check him out. Castiel tells them that the wall is holding, but there's so much pressure building behind it that it's killing Sam, and eventually the pressure will just destroy the wall entirely. In order to prevent that from happening, Sam will need to let some of the pressure out every once and a while - meaning every few months he'll need to scratch just a tiny bit and open a pressure valve of sorts, letting just enough hell through to slack off the pressure for a while... The Fragile Substance of My Soul.minviendha: Sam and Dean are ambushed by a posse of anti-Sam hunters and killed. Dean moves on, but Sam sticks around, pissed about the fact that when the hunters took him out, they took Dean too. A few years pass and Bobby gets wind of some violent deaths going down in the area where the Winchesters fell. He does the math and doesn't like the answer he gets, heads out to put Sam Winchester to rest once and for all. The Ghosts You Know.captainlon: Sam (and Dean?) go spirit-walking (as in Death Takes A Holiday? Or a curse?) and after they get back in their bodies (break the curse?) Sam's consciousness keeps slipping loose like part of a cheap plastic toy with the insertion tabs broken off.Cue uncontrolled, random fainting, disturbing astral plane encounters, frantic Dean, and neat ghost tricks. Fragile.
cherry916: Post 6x12. Ever since Sam got his soul back, he's suffered almost constant headaches due to the pressure from the wall. He tries to hide it, but Dean, being an awesome big brother, notices and does his best to help Sam cope with the pain. Under Pressure.crazybeagle: Sam develops chronic muscle spasms around/near that scar on his back.When it Counted Most.ancastar: For some reason Sam receives 20 lashes. Dean is made to witness the punishment and suffers each stroke with Sam. Bearable.emmram: Uriel gets a hold of Sam and Dean and wants to use them against Castiel in the civil war. [prompt cut for length] Ruin.harrigan: Stanford-era. Sam's got a trick knee from the hunting life -- usually it's okay, but once in a while it hurts enough that he favors it noticeably. He does something to re-injure this knee and iss so used to treating his own injuries that he brushes off Jess' pleas to visit a doctor and wraps it and ices it by himself, like he's always done. The injury is far more serious than he realized, and it just keeps on getting worse -- cue Jess getting kind of frantic and begging him to go to a doctor. Locus Standi.4thejourney: Sam's visions and nightmares developed at a much earlier age. The more they progress, the harder it is for him to cope and keep his grip on reality. The headaches and lack of sleep eventually become too much and he turns to cutting to keep himself grounded. Cue awesome big brother Dean who does what he can by coaxing him through the hard times (I'd love a scene where Dean takes a knife from Sam's hand and mention of how he reacts to seeing fresh cuts on Sam's arm), but knows he ultimately can't make Sam stop and it could be something that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives. My Scars To Remind Mecrazybeagle: SPOILERS FOR 6x15, THE FRENCH MISTAKE. Dean says to Sam "you don't seem all that eager to get back to our universe" (paraphrased). The reason Sam isn't chomping at the bit to get back (even though he knows they have to return) is that in this universe there's no demons, no magic, etc. That means no demon blood, and no addiction. It's the first time in a long time that he hasn't felt that constant hunger niggling away at him. It's such an incredible relief, not to feel that addiction, and he didn't realize how much it was weighing on him until it was gone. Add to that the fact that no hell = no need for a wall, and Sam feels better than he has since, well, ages.Once they return to their universe, though, the addiction and the hunger and the itching wall all crash back down on him. It's depressing and exhausting and overwhelming. Dean eventually figures out what's going on (Sam can tell him or he can figure it out on his own) and does his best to help Sam readjust. Tabula Rasa.
Sorry for the delay in getting the list up. Please let me know if I've left out your fill! :)
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Sam doesn't go to Stanford
Date: 2011-02-22 06:15 pm (UTC)Extra points for no whiny emo-ness. A not-so-happy ending is preferred but I don't care which route the author takes. :)
Re: Sam doesn't go to Stanford
Date: 2011-02-22 06:28 pm (UTC)Re: Sam doesn't go to Stanford
Date: 2011-02-22 08:27 pm (UTC)Re: Sam doesn't go to Stanford
Date: 2011-02-23 07:33 am (UTC)FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 1/?
Date: 2011-02-24 04:22 am (UTC)---
“If you walk out that door, don’t you ever come back.”
Breathing hard, wound up and angry, fists clenched, they stared at each other, a challenge one of them was going to lose. The letter was crumpled in Sam’s hand, and he watched his father’s jaw twitch. Unstoppable force and immovable object. (Which was which? Did it matter?)
In his peripheral vision, Sam saw Dean, rigid, waiting, expecting things to fall apart. There was something in his expression that was quietly unhappy, resigned. Like he knew what was going to happen and was just waiting for it to come.
No, thought Sam.
---
All his dreams, all the things he wanted, were that way. An open door, three steps and he’d be through.
Sam turned and walked the other way. Into the room he and Dean shared. Closed the door behind him. Set the letter down on the bed and stared at it. He heard the door slam, the heavy sounds of John going down the stairs. If you go out that door, don’t you ever come back. Waited to see if Dean would follow him into this smallest of refuges.
Are you happy now? Some part of him wanted to scream.
Dean didn’t come in for another hour, and Sam pretended to be asleep. He heard Dean shifting around for hours. He didn’t hear their father come back.
---
His father didn’t say he was proud of Sam for staying. Dean didn’t thank Sam for not leaving. But Sam got that, now, thought he understood. That was what hunting was: you gave everything you had and expected nothing back.
Better to just have nothing in the first place.
---
It took him almost two hours to write the email informing the admissions office of his decision. He wrote and erased and wrote and erased over and over until he finally decided on the simplest of answers: I will not be attending your university next year. Thank you for your consideration.
He didn’t burn the letter, or rip it up. Like the quietly harbored dreams of his adolescence, he folded it into quarters and put it at the bottom of his duffel, where it could get lost in peace. He refolded the rest of his clothes and put them away; careful, exact, precise.
---
“I thought you would leave,” Dean said, a couple days After. “I really – thought that was it. That you’d hit your limit with Dad.”
“Glad I can still surprise you,” Sam said. Dean looked at him like he was worried, cleared his throat.
“Dad said we might not stick around for graduation.”
Sam shrugged. “Okay,” he said. Dean blinked at him.
“Wow. I expected a bitchfit over that one.” He got the impression Dean was trying to feel him out. Sam lifted his gaze and looked at Dean, perfectly level.
“We have work to do, right? That’s what matters.” Dean looked at him like Sam was a stranger. Sam went back to cleaning the guns, three times until he was sure he had it right, and pretended not to notice.
---
He checked his email a week after, opened the response from Stanford. Thank you for your courtesy, it read. We will close your file. Good luck in your future education!
Future education. Huh.
---
John (never Dad, maybe father) didn’t seem quite sure what to do with him. He watched Sam almost as much as Dean did, but with less worry than confusion. Sam wondered if maybe he’d won that argument after all, purely by doing what no one had apparently expected.
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 2/?
Date: 2011-02-24 04:22 am (UTC)Sam himself wasn’t sure where all the anger had gone. Buried deep, maybe. Or all gone. Drained right out like lancing an infected wound; Sam, the Winchester boil. Fixed now. Everything in order.
He and John circled each other, around and around, with Dean somewhere in the middle.
---
Dean got him a beer after the next hunt and studied Sam like he was trying to read his mind. “You did good,” Dean said suddenly. Sam blinked at him, and Dean groaned. “Don’t’ look so surprised. And don’t make a big deal out of it or anything.”
Sam had a long drink. The beer was cheap and tasted it. Sam swished it around and studied the wood grain of the table with vague interest before glancing up. “You trying to get me drunk?”
“If I am?” Dean said, still eying Sam like he was going to explode, just like John did. Sam wanted to tell them both that the time for exploding was past. He had another gulp.
“Dean,” he said, and let his lips curl, sort of a smile. “No chick flick moments.”
For a second, Sam thought Dean would punch him. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed that he didn’t.
They finished their beers in silence.
---
“Sam,” John said, at some point, during the summer. It was a hot day and Sam was sitting on the porch looking at the clouds. He felt his father sit next to him.
“Yes, sir,” Sam said, without thinking about it. John shifted like he was uncertain, which was ridiculous. John Winchester was never uncertain. Winchesters in general were never uncertain.
“Just quiet. Something on your mind?”
Sam considered that. Considered it a little more. “No, sir,” he said flatly. “Not really.” John started to frown, and Sam spared them both by saying, “Hot day.”
“Uh-huh,” said John. He got up a few minutes later and went back inside. Sam’s entire body thrummed with tension he couldn’t identify. Dean came home smelling like perfume and full of innuendo. They ate dinner together, more or less, but Sam kept his silence close.
“Don’t you ever feel like picking up chicks?” Dean asked him, and Sam lifted his head a little and found a smile.
“Not really.”
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 3/?
Date: 2011-02-24 04:23 am (UTC)Their father was impressed with Sam’s progress in hunting. He went from a good shot to a great one, became effective with three new weapons, and took on a daily run. “You’ve found your focus, Sam,” he said, which was the nicest thing Sam could remember hearing in years.
Dean was worried about Sam’s progress in hunting. He hid it well, but Sam had always known how to read him. He tried to get Sam interested in other things. Tried to throw girls at him. Sam shrugged it off like nothing. “Dammit, Sam,” Dean said ferociously. “You’ve got to give me something.” Dean counted his words and tried to unnerve Sam when it was single digits per day. Dean said he was losing weight.
Sam thought of Dean’s face, rigid like the world was about to fall apart and he knew he couldn’t stop it, and compared it to this one, and liked the latter better.
Once, Sam thought he heard John and Dean arguing about him, and when he entered they were staring at each other with wounds in both their eyes.
Only I, he thought in the quiet spaces of his thoughts that were only his, could do something to try to avoid tearing us apart, and manage it anyway.
---
They ran out of space in the Impala and Sam tossed the last of his books. Dean argued for them harder than Sam did.
“You know,” Sam told him. “I’m not going back.”
“You’re not going forward either,” Dean snapped. Sam looked at him and Dean breathed out hard. “I can’t believe I actually miss your emo-girl moments.”
Sam, deadpan, said “Me neither,”
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-24 04:23 am (UTC)A wendigo tore his back open almost to the bone before his father took it down. Lying on his stomach, boneless, back warm with blood, the earth was cool against his face.
As his vision grayed, he realized that it was March 25th and freshmen had been in school for six months. Meanwhile, he was bleeding into the ground in a forest in the middle of nowhere, and the one world wasn’t the other, couldn’t be the other.
Dean was next to him, talking too fast. “Holy shit – Dad, Sam, it got Sam, he’s really – oh fuck, it’s bad,” and there was pressure making him spasm and writhe despite the pain and there was Dean swearing and there was life passing by- everything in its own little place, packaged neatly, tucked away, a place for everyone and Sam in his place. His back was a mass of pain but he was distant from it, from John, from Dean, from everything.
And Dean was yelling and trying to hold things together, and John was blank and steady. Unstoppable force, immovable object, and Sam, somewhere in between now.
No, thought Sam.
---
He woke up to the beeping of a heart monitor and Dean’s face, sleepless and ravaged, staring down at him. “Sammy,” Dean said, and there was an edge on his voice, rigid, waiting, expecting things to fall apart. Like he knew what was going to happen and was just waiting for it to come. “You almost died, and something’s wrong. Is this about-”
“No,” said Sam, looking up at the ceiling, white like paper, like bandages, like motel room sheets. Write about a significant experience you had that shaped your life, said the application packet.
But that was somewhere else, another life, another Sam. One world isn’t the other, can’t be the other. You chose.
“Sam,” said Dean, a note of desperation in his voice and Sam turned his head and looked at him, smiled. It was the best one yet and he hadn’t even practiced.
“It’s okay,” he said, “I’m fine.”
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-24 04:55 am (UTC)Only I, he thought in the quiet spaces of his thoughts that were only his, could do something to try to avoid tearing us apart, and manage it anyway.
;_;
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 03:27 am (UTC)Thank you for picking that sentence out - I feel like it really says a lot. Which is why it's there.
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-24 04:23 pm (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 03:28 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 12:32 am (UTC)I wonder, do you he'd continue to spiral in depression? Would he make it to 22 and start having visions? If so, would he be more vulnerable to yellow eyes with this heartbreak in his past than he had been in the canon? After all, yellow eyes did speak to some of the "special kids" in dreams. Would he have tried to influence Sam this way as he doesn't have a Jessica to kill? Would he have killed John or Dean instead?
Also, what if John still took off like he did in the season 1 year? Do you think the brothers would still try to find him or find the break a relief?
Yeah, I know, comment!fic. Not meant to be epic, but you've got me curious what happens next for Sam.
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 03:30 am (UTC)I don't know, honestly? I definitely think things would not Get Better to a huge degree. But this is an AU I...might actually consider writing time stamps for. Just because it's one I'm really curious about and I liked writing this, much as I stressed about it.
Hey, I kind of suck at real comment fic most of the time anyway. I'll consider making you curious a good thing and - hey, if you wanted to try your hand...more fic the better. :D
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:FILLED-ish: The AU of your AU
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 07:12 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-25 06:07 pm (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-26 02:12 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-02-26 04:24 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-03 02:26 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-04 05:01 am (UTC)This is so sad. Sometimes I get sad about Sam leaving Dean for college, but even though I already knew he had to do it - this makes it REALLY clear. Sam really had to try it.
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-04 07:21 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-04 12:32 pm (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-06 12:38 am (UTC)Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-03-08 01:54 am (UTC)"All his dreams, all the things he wanted, were that way. An open door, three steps and he’d be through.
Sam turned and walked the other way. Into the room he and Dean shared. Closed the door behind him. Set the letter down on the bed and stared at it. He heard the door slam, the heavy sounds of John going down the stairs. If you go out that door, don’t you ever come back. Waited to see if Dean would follow him into this smallest of refuges.
Are you happy now? Some part of him wanted to scream. "
"He didn’t burn the letter, or rip it up. Like the quietly harbored
dreams of his adolescence, he folded it into quarters and put it at the
bottom of his duffel, where it could get lost in peace."
“You know,” Sam told him. “I’m not going back.” “You’re not going forward either,” Dean snapped."
"But that was somewhere else, another life, another Sam. One world isn’t the other, can’t be the other. You chose."
Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
From:Re: FILLED: Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees, 4/4
Date: 2011-04-17 03:32 pm (UTC)