comment fic meme!

[mimblexwimble.livejournal.com]

Following the results of the poll we took last month (don't make it easy on us or anything, guys, haha!), we've decided to hold a comment fic meme once every three months. This gives everyone time to write and prompt to their heart's content, and allows us mods to keep up with y'all. And we're starting right now!

SPREAD THE WORD

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THE RULES

→ Leave a comment here with your prompt. This is a Sam-focused hurt/comfort community, so Sam should be the one in the hurt/comforted role. Your prompts may involve sick!Sam, hurt!Sam, angsty!Sam, basically anything that results in Sam being on the receiving end of hurt/comfort. (No rules against whumping other characters as well, of course, but you have to whump Sam first. ;) )
→ In your prompt, please state your desired characters or pairings. All genres/pairings welcome, but no real-person (RPF) prompts.

Example A: “Sam, Dean, gen, set in season 2. Sam has a vision and passes out. Cue caring!Dean and limp!Sam.”
Example B: “Sam/Dean, trauma. Sam is injured on a hunt, Dean freaks out when he thinks Sam might be dead.”

→ Post as many prompts as you like - but one prompt per comment. If you've got a couple, comment with each separately.
→ Prompts can be as short or detailed as you like. Remember though - more detail means less wriggle room for the writer, which might lower the chances of someone picking up your prompt.
→ Go through the prompts! If you find one you like, write a fic for it. There's no limit to how many users can reply to a prompt, or how many prompts someone can write for.
→ When replying to a prompt with your comment-fic, put ‘filled’ in your subject line and then anything else you want, like a title if you have one/part numbers. It’s not a big deal if you forget this step, but it will make it easier for people to find your fic.
→ Anon posting enabled.
→ NO SPOILERS FOR UNAIRED EPISODES.
→ Play nice - no flaming and no character bashing, period. Any comments that break this rule will be deleted without warning.
→ Feedback is catnip for writers. Leave some author-love!
→ No spam comments.
→ Contact one of the mods if you have a question.
→ Spread the Sam love - pimp this meme!
→ Have fun!

THE MASTER LIST

Headache by verucasalt123
Sam has a headache and Dean tries to make him feel better.

Taming the Dragon by mentholpixie
Dean finds out Sam has become addicted to some kind of very hard street drug (heroin, meth, cocaine, something like that) and tries (with or without success, surprise me) to help him kick.

Light Will Guide You Home by tahirire
Sam/Sarah Blake, anytime after they parted ways at the end of "Provenance." Because Sam needs non-monster lovin', and he's into dark-haired girls anyway.

The Shadow Dancer by running_hot
Sam has a high fever. A monster has Dean. The rescue would be going much better if Sam could tell which things were actually happening and which were in his head.

Touched By an Angel by mamapranayama
Fill in the gaps between when Cas took down Sam's wall in that alley, until Dean and Bobby get Sam back into the panic room.

Mo Bhràthair E A' Chantainn by ramblin_rosie
Dean and Sam had their own language when they were children, like twins sometimes do. In long car trips, to signal each other, to communicate in close quarters without their father knowing what they were saying. It faded over time, but now, with Sam so often broken form reality and Dean desperate, remembering that language is what saves them. Post 6x22.

In My Time... by jennytork
Sam on a spinal board. Don't mind why, how whatever, but Sam freaking out due to being strapped down, and Dean reassuring him that it will all be ok.

Eternity by emmram
What if the cage were timeless, or outside of time, and returning to time after being timeless had major repercussions? Physiological, where all Sam's heart rate and breathing rhythms and such were fouled up; psychological, where he no longer knows how to follow a conversation or text or train of thought consecutively without jumping about. Go wild: anything from nausea and dizziness to psychosis. Maybe strong rhythms, like waves or music with a regular beat, help ground him. Or sex, if you wanted to go the pairing route.

don't let me know we're invisible by mimblexwimble
ean finds out Sam has become addicted to some kind of very hard street drug (heroin, meth, cocaine, something like that) and tries (with or without success, surprise me) to help him kick.

Real by brokenangel6662
Post-6x22. Sam falls apart. Dean tries to help. That is all.

Folk Rememdies by anonymous
Giant jellyfish. Sam's in the water. Dean isn't. GO!

Into the Night by youaredriving
Sam starts sleepwalking - he walks into the cold night air (not very healthy), he hurts himself while asleep (like cutting or banging his head)

Turn Your Back by vail_kagami
From Cas's POV. Post 6x22. During one of Sam's worst breaks, Dean clings to his brother in just another cheap motel room that make up their lives. He holds Sam and whispers and tries to soothe him, desperation radiating off him as Sam gets worse. Unseen, Castiel watches the two people who'd called him family. He either doesn't know why he feels compelled to watch them suffer like this or realizes he still feels something for them (love/remorse). Would prefer no romantic attachments.

Untitled by verucasalt123
Sam smokes cigarettes. He knows it's a bad habit. He knows he smokes way more than he should. He keeps on smoking anyway.

Automatic Reflex by monicawoe
Sam lifts a car. Of course, Sam throws his back out doing it.

Near Miss by laurificus
Sam does not want to be comforted. Dean is like, 'Yeah well I don't want to make you feel better anyway'

Vegetable Pot Pie by ennyousai
Dean has to feed up a Sam who doesn't trust the world around him. Dean is the only person he sorta kinda trusts; he won't accept food unless Dean is the one who prepares it and offers it. Cue lots of cooking!Dean, talking soothingly and acclimating Sam to a domestic routine.

To Hold Your Broken Soul by authoressnebula
I just kind of loved remembering-hell!Sam, and would like to see more of him. Especially some physical h/c. Sam’s face is burned and he looks like he could use a Dean to clean him up and take care of him, you know? And if you want to move on to emotional h/c after that, that’s fine too.

Spiders from Mars by anonymous
Sam loses his hair (reason up to you) and he is embarrassed by his lumpy skull. Depending on the cause of the hair loss, I can actually see this as being either really lulzy or really sad and either is okay with me.

Most Likely To... by monicawoe
Sam meets old friends from Stanford and they don't recognize him, what with him and Dean swooping in all huge and violent with guns and knives and arcane rituals to rescue them all from some horrifying eldritch creature. And then his friends are all, "OMG! It's Psycho Sam who was a closet satanist and was wanted by the FBI!" And Sam is very conspicuously injured, but he and Dean can't stop to patch him up because the eldritch creature is still trying to rip their throats out. And Sam's feelings are hurt because his old friends are scared of him now.

And They Cry to See Your Face by honeylocusttree
Sam meets old friends from Stanford and they don't recognize him, what with him and Dean swooping in all huge and violent with guns and knives and arcane rituals to rescue them all from some horrifying eldritch creature. And then his friends are all, "OMG! It's Psycho Sam who was a closet satanist and was wanted by the FBI!" And Sam is very conspicuously injured, but he and Dean can't stop to patch him up because the eldritch creature is still trying to rip their throats out. And Sam's feelings are hurt because his old friends are scared of him now.

Cold Hard Truth by jpunkin
Sam suddenly knows when people are lying.

Bleed as it Grows by transfixeddream
Post-6.22. One comparatively minor issue in the mile-long list of all the ways Sam's been screwed up by the destruction of the Wall is the fact that he can't shave himself anymore. But it's eating at him, not just because he's irritated by the way being unshaven looks and feels so much as it is the principle of it-- the fact that he's so freaking scared to do something that used to be so easy before. But so much as touching a razor freaks him out because of all the unpleasant associations he now has with razors and blades in general, let alone scraping one across his face, and he can't get over it. Dean realizes it's upsetting him and decides to help out.

Alone Without You by tattooeddevil
Sam has a terminal heart condition. Dean rents a beach house.

It's All Fun and Games by cherry916
Sam and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Haircut

Do I Not Bleed? by greeneyes_fan
Robo!Sam is still human, even if he doesn't sleep. He comes down with a really horrific case of the 'flu: fever, chills, that nasty cough that settles right in your chest and makes it hurt to breathe, aching muscles, the whole nine yards. Dean knows how to deal with Sam when he's sick, but Robo!Sam is a whole other matter. How do you take care of a guy who not only views this sickness as just an annoying inconvenience and resists any and all forms of caretaking, but also can't/won't sleep which is the main thing that would help?

The Language of Angels by monicawoe
Post 6x22. Sometimes Sam's breaks aren't too disasterous, sometimes they're catastrophic. He'll scream and tremble and speak only enochian. Desperate to help, Dean, haltingly, learns some broken Enochian words so he can try to reach his brother. Gen preferred.

Pandamonium by mamapranayama
Sam gets mauled by an escaped panda or other cuddly animal at the zoo.

The Other Brother by radiumgirl
Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased (the reason for Adam not being the same kind of drooling mess is up to the author). Basically, Adam really really doesn't want to care and holds onto his resentment for dear life, but Sam is all psychotic and hopeless so it's kind of hard. Cue grudging compassion and Adam dragging Sam around the country, hitchhiking with truckers and stuff while trying to keep Sam's lunacy on the down-low, in search of anyone else who wants to take him, anyone at all. When he finally gets his chance to be rid of Sam for good and for keeps, he barely has one foot out the door before he notices Dean/Bobby/the psychiatric nurse/whoever trying to calm Sam down and doing it all wrong. Breaking up is so hard to do.

Big Brothers and Hot Dogs Never Mix by cherry916
Sam gets sick in the Impala. Not just a little, we're talking projectile vomiting, splattering and making a big huge mess. Any season, but not pre-series. Gen, please.

Relief by si_star_x
After a bad fall Sam badly bruises and/or cracks quite a few ribs, he's in agony and relies on Dean to help him through his simple everyday tasks.

Misplaced Comment Fic by greeneyes_fan
Hilarious. Cas rocks! No wait, you rock!

Where There's Smoke by roque_clasique
Sam smokes cigarettes. He knows it's a bad habit. He knows he smokes way more than he should. He keeps on smoking anyway.

True Colors tifaching
CRACK. Or whatever. Castiel and Balthazar go on a roadtrip together in order to rediscover their inner peacocks. (Don't ask, it's an angel thing.) Unfortunately, things go horribly awry and Sam ends up getting pecked half to death when the peacocks turn murderous. Luckily for him, Dean is awesome.

Mirror, Mirror purplehrdwonder
There's an old belief that you see your soul when you look into a mirror. Sam's soul has been in the Cage for hundreds of years. What does he see when he looks at his own reflection? What's in the mirror, staring back at him every morning when he tries to shave?

My life on paper glovered
Seems like after what happened when the wall fell, Sam's brain periodically reverts to amnesia under stress. He doesn't go into a coma, but whatever random triggers he has for his hell flashbacks, his consciousness sidesteps them by becoming blank!slate!Sam.

Sam's Soul brokenangel662
Sam's soul watches, terrified and desperately wanting to join his body as it gets dragged from the cage.

Another Point of View ceedeeandco
Post-wall: It’s not that Sam is hallucinating so much as he’s now capable of seeing into other dimensions. Which, of course, to the untrained eye, comes off as Sam hallucinating. Dean, unfortunately, is an untrained eye, and the inter-dimensional being who might have formerly conveniently let Dean in on the secret is currently off playing God somewhere. So, Dean is going to go with the “Sam hallucinates ALL THE TIME” theory and acts accordingly. Does he ever figure it out?

Metronome geek_chic_girl
OK, this is an odd idea I've had kicking around since 5.22. What if the cage were timeless, or outside of time, and returning to time after being timeless had major repercussions? Physiological, where all Sam's heart rate and breathing rhythms and such were fouled up; psychological, where he no longer knows how to follow a conversation or text or train of thought consecutively without jumping about.

Your Name in Lights by honeylocusttree
What torments Sam most about his memories of the Cage, after he gets a tenuous grip on the flashbacks and fear, is how he broke there: in the worst way a Winchester could possibly break. He remembers wishing Dean was there instead of him. Dean assumes that Sam is miserable and ashamed because of something done to him, instead of anything he'd done, and Sam is inconsolable. Does Dean ever figure it out? Can Sam ever move on?

Along Came a Spider by mamapranayama
As many cellars, abandoned houses, rotting warehouses, and other manky spaces as these guys have run through, I figure their chances of getting tagged have to be pretty high. Sam has a run-in with Lactodectrus mactrans, which in turn leads to all the fun and joy of latrodectism. Dean's there to do the motel rool triage (and the big brother thing) when the agonizing full-body cramps set in, of course. Mega-super bonus points and my eternal love for some kind of background plot, especially if it gives Sam occasion to be awesome, but mainly, I'd just love to see him in agony from Black Widow venom.

Lest Thou be Consumed by jpunkin
After being in the Cage, Sam can't even really tell when he's been hurt, no matter how bad it is. He'll get hurt in a hunt and not know till Dean freaks and tells him he's bleeding. He'll wander off barefoot, lost in his head, and Dean will wake up and run after him. His feet will be all cut up and bloody and Dean's panicking that he doesn't know what's wrong with his brother and doesn't know how to help him. Gen preferred.

Unable to Stay by youaredriving
Sam is a bit shell-shocked after a hunt (maybe an innocent person dies? Someone he knew/got to know?) and has blood on his hands, arms, and face. Thus, Dean has to gently remove his clothes, get him into the shower, get in after him, and bathe him. Sam, still very much out of it, is highly compliant. Afterwards, Dean gets him dressed and into bed. Maybe he cuddles with him, and/or tries to coax him out of his stupor.

Just Following Orders by ramblin_rose
Sam shoots his father. On purpose or accident -- repercussions are going to be severe in any case.

You Never Forget Your First by authoressnebula
The boys are arguing. And this happens to be the one and only time that Dean ever takes his anger out on Sam in a violent way. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe he was really drunk. Maybe he was cursed. Maybe he was just really angry and he screwed up. The thing is, Sam actually gets hurt, and it's Dean's fault. Cue massive guilt and general awesomeness afterwards.
Brownie points if Sam thinks he deserved it for whatever reason. Or is angry about it. Or somehow scared of Dean.

The Cancer Inside by purplehrdwonder
Dean tangles with a djinn who grants you what you want most, with a wicked sense of what it probably thinks is humor. Dean's pissed at Sam, angry, just wants Sam to shut up and listen and grovel maybe a little bit more because hey, the guy jumpstarted the apocalypse and betrayed Dean. So yeah, Dean wants that. And in this world, Dean gets just that.

Cooler Than Me by authoressnebula
Wee!Sam (5-12) catches the eye of an infertile witch. She kidnaps him and casts a spell on him to make him believe that she is his mother.

Not Exactly Clarence by minviendha
Sam, Cas, gen, sometime in Season 5. Sam gets sick, and Cas is the only one who notices. Sam is ignoring the problem until it goes away; cue Cas trying (awkwardly) to take care of him.

To Be Redeemed by brokenangel6662
Sam falls apart. Dean tries to help. That is all.

Draining by 27_jaredjensen
Sam has the mother of all chest colds, a raging headache, draining fever, wracking chills. By all rights he should be in bed, but people are dying and bones need to be burned and Dean can't do it alone. So here they are, in the middle of a forest in the pouring rain, trying to light a stupid match because of course the lighter fluids all gone...you get the idea, right? One of those no good, pain in the ass, nothing going right, suck-the-life-from-your-bones days. Grumbling but protective Dean would be awesome.

Mother Instinct by norahy
Season 2: The boys are forced to crash at the Roadhouse for a time. Sam is hurt/sick/whatever and in bad shape, and Ellen decides the poor boy needs some serious mothering.

Comments

[crazybeagle.livejournal.com]

The boys are arguing. And this happens to be the one and only time that Dean ever takes his anger out on Sam in a violent way. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe he was really drunk. Maybe he was cursed. Maybe he was just really angry and he screwed up. The thing is, Sam actually gets hurt, and it's Dean's fault. Cue massive guilt and general awesomeness afterwards.
Brownie points if Sam thinks he deserved it for whatever reason. Or is angry about it. Or somehow scared of Dean.
Gen pretty please. Any season or pre-series or whenever.

FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 1/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

It was a night of firsts all over. A night where, for the first time, Dean told Sam he didn't want to be anywhere near his brother, out loud. Of course, he was who knew how many sheets to the wind at that point, having gone through the Jim Beam he'd bought, then his own private stash of the harder stuff. It was also the first time that his own alcohol hadn't been enough to handle the job and put him to sleep, to let him forget that there was an apocalypse going on. So it was a first that, even drunk as he was, he was heading out to the bar just a few blocks over to consume whatever they had.

It was also the first time that Sam stopped him from going out.

Dean stared at him in surprise, then felt anger begin to burn inside. "Move," he growled.

Sam stood his ground, though, and unfortunately, he stood it between Dean and the door. "You're drunk, Dean," he said. "No. Just sleep it off, I'll get you a glass of water-"

"What part of move didn't you understand?" Dean said again, drawing Sam up short. The room was tilting in a weird way, but Dean saw the door clearly enough, and the big-little brother that was in his way. He staggered forward, only to find Sam stepping up to meet him.

"If you drove, you'd crash her, Dean," Sam said patiently, the asshole, and it only served to make Dean angrier still. "And if you walked, you'd probably fall down somewhere. You're not thinking clearly here, man."

"Right, and I'm supposed to take 'thinking clearly' advice from the bastard who thought suckin' down demon blood and screwin' a demon bitch was a good idea?" Dean snapped. The hurt that shot across Sam's face felt good, and Dean let it all flow out when he put both hands firmly on Sam's chest and shoved. Sam actually stumbled backward, shocked. "Sorry, but any advice you could possibly give? Not even gonna listen." Dean moved towards the door, goal in sight.

And found a wall of brother in his way. "No," Sam said, quietly but firmly. "You've had enough, Dean."

Dean shoved again, but this time Sam was ready for it and held firm. The burning fire of anger suddenly exploded into rage, and Dean didn't even feel his hand connect with Sam's face. All he saw was Sam stumble back, hand whipping up to his face, liquid eyes filled with hurt.

"See, if you'd done what I asked you to in the first place, tha' wouldn't have happened," Dean slurred, and he couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the fury that hampered his language. "'Course, if you'd listened to me then maybe you wouldn't have started the goddamn apocalypse and I wouldn't be drinkin' in the first place, and Bobby wouldn't be in a freakin' wheelchair, and the world wouldn't be headin' to Hell. But noooo, Sammy's gotta do it his way. And guess what?"

Even though it was the second punch, it was still a first: the first time Dean had punched his brother with the intent to hurt him. Sam hit the floor, blood already trickling from his mouth.

Dean dropped to his knees beside his fallen brother, grabbing his shirt up in his fists and hauling Sam's wide eyed stare up to meet his furious one. "Your way damned us all," Dean seethed. "You killed us all, Sam!"

One punch, two punches, and they continued to fall. The barfight Dean had probably been spoiling for, after having gotten further drunk, had met him in his motel room. His fist met flesh again and again, raining down on Sam's face. Hands shot up to fight back, and Dean snarled and shoved them aside-

Except they weren't fighting back. They were deflecting. Covering Sam to shield him from the blows.

Dean froze.

FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 2/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

For the first time since he'd started hitting Sam - abusing Sam - he really looked at his brother.

Sam was curled up on the dirty motel carpet, hands up to try and block the blows to the neck or the chest. Sam's face was an array of blood and dark red marks where Dean's fists had plowed into. One eye was closing, and the other was watching him with an emotion Dean didn't recognize.

It was another first, he realized suddenly, and it made him want to vomit, because the unknown emotion was fear. For the first time, Sam was afraid of him.

Dean pushed himself off of Sam, feeling incredibly sober. Sam was still watching him fearfully, hands still up to protect his throat. Not his face, for some bizarre reason; just the places where if he placed a punch just right, Dean could kill him-

Dean shot up off the floor, the room unsteady around him, and raced for the door. "D'n, no," Sam whispered, and his torn, terrified voice was all the incentive Dean needed to push himself outside.

The door slammed shut behind him as he hurried out into the parking lot. He made it to the bushes near the sign before he threw up, emptying his stomach of probably most of the alcohol he'd imbibed. His head pounded and he stumbled to his knees, hands braced out against the still warm concrete. No one passed the motel, no cars rushing by at the midnight hour, no one walking from the bar to the suburbs not far from where they were staying. Yet Dean still felt as if the eyes of the world were staring at him, condemning him for what he'd done.

His eyes caught sight of his hands, and they ached suddenly, fiercely. They were bloody and slightly swollen and would be stiff as hell tomorrow morning. Some of it was his blood. Most of it was Sam's.

He threw up again.

Sam. Oh god, Sam. Sam who'd been protecting him from himself, keeping him from going to the bar and probably either dying in a barfight or giving himself alcohol poisoning. He'd seen it all clearly and Dean? Dean hadn't seen a damn thing.

Except rage. And Sam's face, there and ready to be pounded.

Tears burned in his eyes, and his stomach threatened to rebel for a third time. He'd hurt Sam, deliberately. He'd wanted to, even. He'd hit Sam, abused Sam, because there was no other way it could be anything but abuse. And Sam hadn't fought back, had just taken it, and there was so much wrong with that Dean didn't even know where to begin.

He'd left Sammy alone back in the room. He'd just left him lying there on the filthy carpet, bleeding, probably with a hell of a concussion. Goddammit. When had things gotten so messed up? Where had Dean gone wrong?

He pushed himself up onto trembling limbs and wiped his mouth. He blinked and tried to push away the last vestiges of drunkeness, because there was a possibility that Sam would need a hospital. And Dean needed to be sober enough to answer questions when the ambulance arrived.

Dean wasn't driving. He'd crash her, Sam had been right. And god, when had Dean put the car's well-being over Sam's? When had Sam put the car's well-being over his own?

He made his way back to the room, weaving only a little. The door was still unlocked, which was good because Dean didn't have the key on him. He'd been prepared to step outside without a key, without common sense. Without his backup, his best friend, his brother.

The room was dark and quiet. Sam wasn't on the floor anymore, but he wasn't anywhere that Dean could see. Had he come outside? No, Dean would've heard that. So where was his brother?

A sound from the bathroom caught his attention. There was no light on, and the door was only partially shut. Dean swallowed and made his way silently towards the bathroom.

FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

He didn't announce himself, which wasn't really a first: he walked into a room without announcing himself to Sam all the time. Sam did the same. They knew where the other was, when he came in.

Not now. Now, as Dean carefully pushed the door open, he could tell Sam hadn't registered his entrance at all.

Sam was curled up with his back against the wall, open first aid kit beside him. He was slowly brushing alcohol swabs against his cuts, not even flinching as they wiped away the blood. His left eye was completely swollen shut now, and the red marks were quickly turning into huge bruises. His cheeks were both cut open, his lips were a bloody mess, and when he coughed, blood flew out into his waiting hand.

The worst part, though, was the look on Sam's face. The despair, the grief. The resignation and hurt.

The alcohol swab was too bloody to do any real good anymore, and the realization seemed to destroy any last energy and will Sam had. The swab fell to the floor, and Sam's head hung to his chest, his good eye closing.

The door's hinges squealed slightly as they were pushed open all the way, and Sam immediately snapped to attention. He quickly tried to shove himself away from the door, his good eye locked on Dean with fear and the same resignation that Dean had seen before. But he still wasn't protecting his face, wasn't doing anything except waiting for Dean to break more of him.

Dean slowly moved forward and knelt next to Sam. He found two unused alcohol patches and ripped the packages open. In slow movements, like with an injured animal that was cornered, Dean carefully and gently began to clean Sam's face.

Sam hissed at the contact but didn't say anything. He just kept watching Dean. Waiting.

Dean's stomach wouldn't stop churning, fingers and alcohol tracing over all the damage he'd done. God, he'd done this to Sam. Not some demon, not some angel. Dean. In an ironic sort of way, the same alcohol that had wound up hurting Sam so much was helping clean him up.

It was clear from the way Sam held himself, from the way he'd startled upon Dean's entrance, that he'd been expecting to clean himself up. That Dean would have gone on and left him there, alone, in the motel room.

When he was done, Dean started looking for the butterfly bandages, for the cheek that had gotten the worst of it. Sam's hand caught his, though, forcing him to stop. Dean glanced up and found Sam gazing at him with no fear, just sadness. And the same resignation as before, and Dean felt himself getting angry again. This time, with himself.

"Could've stopped me," Dean found himself saying, because it was the truth. Sam had more than enough strength to have stopped what had happened. He just...hadn't.

Sam shrugged and did look away then. "Not like I didn't have it coming," he whispered, words thick and fumbled through swollen lips. Resigned and ashamed.

And god, Dean had never wanted so badly to take something back as he did then, to take back the punches, to take back the abuse, both physical and verbal. The cuts would heal, the bruises would fade. What he'd said would get played on a single track, stuck on repeat, in Sam's head for the rest of who knew how long.

Dean didn't have butterfly sutures for that.

And then it dawned on Dean just why Sam hadn't protected his face, and he shut his eyes tight. Sam had thought he deserved it. He'd let Dean hurt him.

There was no way to fix this. To fix Sam.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[crazybeagle.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I just finished it, and now I want to cry...
Not like I didn't ask for it, literally, but *SOB*

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

There's more! I just had to go to a meeting for work. *kicks work* But it's all finished now!

It gets a little better. *pets* It was just too good a prompt not to do, and I've been trying to stay away from this damn meme because it's SO GOOD, and then I saw this one and it all went to hell. :P

~Nebula

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[whatjuliewrites.livejournal.com]

Oh, the man pain--both Sam and Dean's. So much ouch. Just delicious!

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much sweetie! You can't hurt one brother without hurting the other, because they're connected. I just like hurting Sam more and then hurting Dean via Sam. :P

~Nebula

FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

But he could fix himself.

For the first time, Dean said what had never needed to be said between them. It had always been implied, always shared with nudges and affection and statements filled with love. But tonight, tonight it had to be said out loud as it was.

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

Sam was already shaking his head, turning away from Dean, and it wasn't happening. Dean caught his face gently between Dean's hands and forced him to turn back. Sam's good eye glistened from the light outside, and he refused to look at Dean directly. That was fine.

"It's not true. You didn't...you didn't do those things, Sam."

"Dean-"

"I was wrong to say them. I was drunk and you were right, I had no business going anywhere. You stopped me from hurting myself." He swallowed, fingers gently brushing one of the cuts. "Just not me from hurting you."

Sam tried to shrug it off again, but Dean wouldn't let him. "Anyone ever hurts you again, you hurt them back," Dean said fiercely, just as demanding as he'd been when he'd struck Sam. "You hear me?"

Slowly Sam's eye turned to catch Dean's gaze. "What if it's you?" he asked softly.

"It won't be," Dean said firmly. Sobriety had never sounded so good in his life, and that was another first, too. Dean wasn't touching alcohol for a long, long time. And he'd never get drunk enough to get angry at Sam, either. Sam, who hadn't deserved any of the lashings Dean had poured out on him.

"If it is?"

"Then you fight back," Dean said. It wouldn't happen, but Sam needed to know. "You fight back, you hear me?"

Sam nodded, then winced. Concussion. "Gonna have to wake you every couple hours," Dean said quietly. He'd stay up all night waiting. Usually, he slept, and set his alarm to wake him for the constant vigil. Not tonight. If Dean slept without nightmares in the nights coming ahead, he'd be surprised.

If he slept at all.

Sam let him continue to clean him in silence, his lone good eye slowly starting to blink shut in exhaustion. The resigned air was fading away, though Dean knew what he'd done that night would take a long time to forget. Probably already forgiven, and god knew Dean didn't deserve it, but that was Sam, and it made Dean's eyes burn a little bit more thinking about it.

He leaned against the wall, next to Sam, and hauled his little brother in. Sam slid over with a soft sigh, and Dean took the trust, the acceptance, the forgiveness so freely offered with that move. "I'm so sorry, Sammy," he whispered, guilt and regret clouding his tone.

Sam remained silent for a long time, enough that Dean thought he'd fallen asleep. When he spoke, it was in a voice that was barely a whisper. "Promise?"

Dean shut his eyes, one lone tear slipping free. "I promise," he said.

It was a promise he wasn't going to forget, one he was going to make sure Sam remembered, too.

~Nebula

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[mentholpixie.livejournal.com]

*Flails at the brilliance*

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[crazybeagle.livejournal.com]

"What if it's you?" "It won't be." "But if it is?"
You just killed me.
This is wonderful, exquisitely painful, and I love you forever for doing it. <3

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[glimmerella.livejournal.com]

*cheer* This is wonderful!

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

You really cut my heart with this one. Thank you for giving it a hopeful resolution!

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[sylvia37.livejournal.com]

Sniff....

I always love it when I see that you've posted and I'm never disappointed. This was so good.

I'm kinda glad they didn't do this on the show even though I could definitely see Sam taking it. It was hard enough to read much less having to watch.

Great Job!

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[embroiderama]

Oh, GAH! This is painful but so very good.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[destinyjadams.livejournal.com]

So sequel with Dean running off to protect Sam from himself and Sam tracking him down? :) No, just kidding.

Seriously though, amazing prompt and amazing fill. I actually went back to your ff.net account and reread all my favorite stories of yours (which was an awful lot of them). Thank you so much for sharing your fic with us!!

-Desi Jo

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[ladyjane]

What a wonderful prompt, and a brilliant fill to go with it.

brb,
Gone to smother the boys in TLC.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[rhymeswithway.livejournal.com]

God, my heart.

This was amazing. I'd kill for a sequel.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 4/4

[varkelton]

Congratulations! Your story has been recced at spn_littlebro!

[sylvaniae.livejournal.com]

VERY nicely done. Plausible, as well, which makes it all the more sad and realistic for the show. Those two will have a lot to work through after something like that, to say the least. What's so heartbreaking about it is that Sam is always so forgiving because it's part of who he is. Like Castiel, he cares too much.

[reggie11.livejournal.com]

God, this was SO good and so incredibly sad.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 3/?

[leighannwallace.livejournal.com]

No one ever thinks so badly of Sam as he does himself. Great story. Heartbreaking.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 1/?

[crazybeagle.livejournal.com]

I love that it was you who picked this, may I just say, because your work never ceases to bring a smile to my face.
That said- This is FANTASTIC. I was really hoping somebody would take this and go with the route of Dean actually being somewhat culpable. And of course, he has every right to be furious with Sam at this point in the story anyway, so add alcohol and presto....sigh.
And of course, that Sam wasn't fighting back...
>sniffle< Shot to the heart.
Can't wait for more.

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 1/?

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! ^_^ That means a lot to me.

Dean had a lot of anger in season 5 towards the world, towards Sam, and a lot of it came from season 4. It didn't just go away. And Dean strikes me as the angry type of drunk. The more he drinks, the more maudlin he gets, like Sam, but initial drinking? Barfights. He's itching and spoiling for one, and I see him as the type to start it if he doesn't get one.

Thus, Sam!pain. And I couldn't help but add in the part that Sam wouldn't fight back, because you know he wouldn't.

It's all finished now; I hope you enjoy!

~Nebula

Re: FILLED: You Never Forget Your First, 1/?

[sandycub.livejournal.com]

This was just so good I Don't have words!! Poor Sam feeling like he deserved it! Even poor Dean after realizing what he had truly done!

Really felt like the boys voices both in anger and in offering apologies! Such a touching piece!

Brilliant writing as always!