A wee Sam thought (SPOILERS FOR LAST EPISODE)

[phx69.livejournal.com]

*****SPOILERS for Last week's episode*****



I have seen a number of tags about last week's episode. 99% of which focus on 'poor' Cas being left behind in such a state (which I personally think was poetic justice and I am glad Cas is gaining true insight into what he cast on Sam when he crumbled Sam's wall). But I only have one strong thought on that episode: Holy crow! If what was in Sam's head, was enough to mentally cripple an ANGEL, how the heck had Sam managed to function so long, mere human being that he is? (I will forget for a moment that as an angel, Cas really should not have been affected like that...they do not feel things in the same way as humans do) My respect and love for Sam went up a thousand fold... Unfortunately, that seems to have gotten lost on much of tag writing fandom: dimmed in light of Cas being left behind. If my muse were in working order right now, my tag would be about Dean's new understanding, compassion and respect, for just what his BROTHER survived. That, and Sam is not healed - Cas said he could not heal Sam, he could however, shift things and get Sam back on his feet. Whatever that means... Anyways, that's my wee Sammy thought of the day. And I just wanted to share it with other people who might feel some sympathy for the poor kid.

Comments

[kate-mct.livejournal.com]

I agree, Cas took down the wall, it was only right that he take on the misery that he inflicted on Sam. I think Sam's proven that he's tougher and stronger than people give him credit for. *Thinks* Y'know, I think we need to have a 7x17 comment meme that focuses on Sam and his recovery.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I totally agree :) That boy is as beautiful inside as he is tall outside!

[captainlon.livejournal.com]

I already feel so much sympathy for the kid you have no idea heh. I wish more people did :/ Though most people on lj seem sympathetic. Not so much on other pages.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Very true. I don't even think very many Sam sypathetic writers post on fan fic dot net anymore as all the fics seem to be about CAS.

[mamapranayama.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm.... you have tickled my muse here and I feel fic coming on. :)

[carocali.livejournal.com]

write please!!!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Sam is A-MAZING! That episode was an example of just how strong Sam is. It makes me sad to hear when people aren't sympathic to Sam. ( which is why I rarely venture further than my flist). He's suffered and survived so much and we never hear him complain. He just gets on with it. He's a true hero.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Yes he is. And he really does not let anything bring him all the way down - Sam keeps fighting. I adore Dean but Dean has been dragging himself for a very long time now and while Sam has just as much on his shoulders - more in some ways, less in others - I have yet to see him truly give up. His complete mental breakdown not withstanding, lol!! And Dean's death aside.

[daisychains1957]

Absolutely and well said, it annoys me no end that Sam, and Jared, don't get the recognition they deserve

[phx69.livejournal.com]

What annoys me is how some people seem to want to replace Sam with Cas and can't seem to realize that no matter what, Cas will never mean as much to Dean as Sam does. Cas is a wonderful supporting character, but IMO, that is all.

[bt-kady.livejournal.com]

Most others were so concerned for the return of CAS and how this affected CAS...very few stop to think how much SAM has been going through. Personally - and no offense to Cas fans out there - I'm ready to see the end of all the demons and angels and to get back to the brothers and all the MOWs like we had before season 4. I like Misha, but I'm finished with Cas. Let's move on.

Sam, and Jared, need more love.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Amen on all thought!

[afikitty13.livejournal.com]

*applauds* Exactly!! If it crippled an angel, its amazing that Sam had such utter strength to keep going as well as he did (and gah the hugs he deserves for it!). And yeah the "issues" shifted to Cas but Sam is still gonna have to deal with memories of everything and I'm sure he's gonna have guilt issues of Cas now dealing with Lucy. There is no way he's just gonna be 100% fine now and I don't know if Dean is gonna get that :/ Adore your damn brother sir!!

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Cas is making amends. He put that on Sam so I have no trouble with him being left behind to deal with it but it should also not take away from what Sam actually survived.

[hiroyuki-hydex.livejournal.com]

Sam deserves for it!

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Yes he does :)

[likiel.livejournal.com]

(http://s1118.photobucket.com/albums/k619/likiellikaella/?action=view&current=tumblr_m121dcgWlQ1qcx26go2_500.gif)


Sweetheart, I'm ALL sympathy for Sammy! I actually only thought about what he went throught and did not care that much about Castiel being left behind because, well, the dude seriously need to redeem himself! Sam is incredibly strong, I totally agree with on that, I think he's stronger than anyone give him credit for, including himself. A century and half of torture and he took him this long to break? and well, I can't say I'm surprised that even an angel (or whatever Cas is now) can't handle it, it Lucifer!

I'd like to think that Sam's main strengh is Dean. I looooove SamandDean forever and ever. This is what this show is about.

I feel your turmoil, hon! ;-)

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Damn straight. Dean and Sam are the show. Forever.

[khakigrrl.livejournal.com]

(I will forget for a moment that as an angel, Cas really should not have been affected like that...they do not feel things in the same way as humans do)

The only thing that makes sense to me is that Cas has either transferred the most broken parts of Sam's soul into himself or he is transferring the signals from Sam's brain/soul/whatever to his own consciousness so he's experiencing the same emotions and memories and hallucinations as Sam was. I don't really like the idea of either because the Sam walking around missing pieces of his soul thing has been done to death and because if Cas was just getting the hallucinations and emotions Sam was getting, Lucifer wouldn't have interacted with him by saying, "Hello, brother." However, I can't think of another explanation for what we've seen. Cas experiencing his own hallucinations wouldn't involve Lucifer and Cas receiving transmissions from the real Lucifer in the cage would leave Sam still the flayed soul he has to deal with.

It's just a real clumsy way of dealing with the stakes they've been piling on top of Sam without taking Sam out of the action. :-(

I like the idea of Dean acknowledging Sam's suffering, but I don't think he's in a mental state to see anything beyond his immediate focus. When Sam got so bad he could no longer function, then yes, Dean had to see it. But when Sam was able to function again, I think Dean moved the problem to the back burner. He has so many losses and so much trauma he's pushing down and pushing down without much in the way of good to counterpoint it, I think he wouldn't be functional himself except there's no one else to do it.

[chaos-slave.livejournal.com]

I'm betting on there being more to it with Lucifer saying "Hello Brother." and then how before that, when Sam ran off in the library, Luci remained and made the comment about Sam speaking to him again.

Or maybe this is just my Luci fangirl hopes and dreams reading way too much into it. LOL

[fourtenpm.livejournal.com]

I am just gonna be a shameless Samgirl here and say it made me so happy to see Dean all concerned about Sam, and went AROUND Cas to get to him. And he said: ALL of our friends are dead. Which to me means he is not considering Cas as a friend just yet, which is consistent with his 'cannot shake this' comment.

There is so much call-back to Faith, they both can be ruthless when it came to the other. Sam really didn't bat an eye that another dude was dead so that Dean could live; and Dean complete disregarded vegetative Cas. I am positively giddy over this.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Yes I adored Dean's concern for his brother. Cas might be his friend but no one will ever take Sam's place for Dean. Not even Adam and Adam was their brother too.

[leah-elisabeth.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. I have been puzzled by the lack of fic about the aftermath. I keep looking. I am so proud of that boy am's I really wish he would get the credit he deserves.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I agree. There is so much in that episode that could make awesome Sam and Dean fic and I am still hoping. I really hope I can kick my muse into something!! LOL!

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

I immediately noticed that as well. Cas' reaction to seeing Lucifer seemed a little other the top considering all he saw was a dude sitting there talking to him - one he expected and one he knew wasn't real.
Only possible explanation: The shift immedately broke Cas' mind completely and let him forget it was a hallucination and that he has, in fact, faced the guy before, in the felsh, without flipping out.
And wasn't there something once about angels having no soul.

Okay, so the whole thing doesn't yet make sense to me. Maybe we'll get an explanation.

Back to the point: Sam saw Lucifer all the time. He saw (and felt) Lucifer hurting him, hurting others, saw glimplses of Hell in form of meathooks and chans and whatnot. And he just kept on going until his body, not his mind, finally brought him down.

Wow.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY! I loved Cas taking this on to himself but I am disturbed by how it was written to have affected him. It made no sense to me. Angels do no thave souls. They don't feel things the same way mankind does. And after everything Cas would have seen as a warrior of God, I can't understand him folding so completely like that - and especially not after that past interactions we have seen him have with Lucifer and especially not when it took the attention away from the impact on Sam. This whole episode has so much in it but all the writing public seem to remember is that Cas was left behind. Mind you, Dean left Sam there too when he went looking for help... LOL!

[sammy8285.livejournal.com]

I totally agree.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sinka.livejournal.com]

Wow, there's so many amazing insights in this threat that I doesn't have anything to add. I'll just say that I absolutely agree with you (and with what everybody is saying). Sam is simply amazing, strong, generous, caring and self-sacrificying... I don't understand why the whole fandom doesn't love him. He's literally half the whole series!

I like Cas, I do. But I believe his role in the series is over. But I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him completely for breaking Sam's wall, for betraying him (when Sam was the only one who still believed in him) and using him as a tool. I'll sign for him popping once in a while (I don't want him to die) but I want my SamnDean.

I'm looking forward how the series tackles his broken soul now. He still has his memories and spent too much time in the Cage, so there must be consquences, permanent ones, even if they are not as cool or crippling as seeing Lucifer all the time. I just hope the series doesn't simply ignore the issue (but I'm not getting my hopes up).

Jared/Sam deserves all the praise and more.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I don't have an issue with Cas except the way he is use to push Sam to the side, especially when that is not how it is written on the show. Show has shown us time and time again that no one can compare to Sam for Dean and vice versa so that is why I was a bit miffed that after such a wonderful opportunity for some good Sam and Dean fix it comfort fic, the focus seems to be on fixing Cas. Cas did this to himself. I am glad he pulled it onto himself. He should have left that wall alone. And that was one of my favorite parts of the episode - when Cas admitted he should have left it alone.

[lidoshka.livejournal.com]

we focused on cas because come on! It's CAS! and they left them behind! boohoo!!

but ok, I didn't consider about what Sam was going through... but now that you meantion it, my respect for him goes tenfold, since despite all he stil managed to help a girl and toast a ghost!

I guess I need to wait a while to confirm my love for Sam...cause if he's not 'fixed' then is he gonna accumalate crazies until he colapses again? or is he schosophrenic now and it's just Lucifer the one hallucination that got transfered? mmhh..

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Dean left Sam behind there too, lol!! Cas is a secondary character, the same as Bobby, Balthazar, Rufus, and even John and as much as I adore most of the listed above, they will never take the place of either SAM or DEAN :)

[carocali.livejournal.com]

Love the comments here. Yes, Sam is very strong and the fact that Cas was so shocked by what he'd done to Sam once he took it over is awesome, IMHO. Yes, fic! Please, take up the gauntlet! There will still be issues with Sam dealing with Hell but it's not Lucifer (boo, I LOVE Mark Pellegrino - would take him ANY day over Misha). If they write that off, I'll be pissed. They always seem to sweep Sam's issues under the rug and it's ridiculous!

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I am actually going to miss Lucifer tormenting Sam. I loved the vulnerability it gave to Sam and the big brother it brought out in Dean. it reset a lot of things between them that seasons four and five took away.

[joyofreading.livejournal.com]

I agree! Cas started this so he did what he should have. I hope the show doesn't forget how messed up Sam still is. And yes I would love to read how he not only survived Lucifer in his head for so long, but the electric shock he was getting when Cas found him. I think that Cas just delayed the inevitable, because Sam IS strong but you're right he's only human. How much of a toll has not sleeping caused too. I've read some good fic but I really want to see people focus on those things more. I haven't really seen any non Sam sympathizers which is probably good.

Anyway good post! Happy SPN Friday.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

You know what other things got forgotten: Sam's broken rib, lol! And that Dean was actually calling people, telling them about Bobby's death (which he had refused to do earlier) so he could ask for help. That was amazing!

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

Your post is a breath of fresh air! Thank you!

I wish the episode had not had so many plot issues to deal with at once. I would've liked to see more of the brothers sharing screen time in some way instead of the focus shifting to Cas & Meg and random demons and haunting. It took away from some potentially great brother scenes, I think. Maybe I'm comparing too much to "Faith," in which Sam & Dean were together and acting and reacting to each other for almost the whole ep, with their bond being tested and reinforced throughout.

I have nothing against Cas and enjoy MIsha's performances, but this wasn't the time to devote an episode to him. Maybe bringing him in near the end would've made me happier.

And yes, Sam, like Dean, is very flawed, but incredibly strong, in ways both the same and different from his brother. For both, "brother" is the foundation of their strength.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. I kept hoping Dean would not find Cas until the second half so we would get more Dean and Sam time. Really there wasn't alot :)

[purplehrdwonder.livejournal.com]

I'm in total agreement with this. Sam's inner strength is beyond incredible to deal with what he did for as long as he did. And it wasn't even Lucifer himself that ended up breaking him in the end, but the simple human fact that his body could not deal with the sleep deprivation. I find that just astounding. I might have thought I couldn't love Sam more but this did it for me. I have my own theory I've written meta about with what's going on with Lucifer, but I do hope Show addresses what Cas did for sure.

P.S. I wrote two tags to this episode and neither were about Cas ;)

[phx69.livejournal.com]

I will definitely have to check them out. I also love that Sam had a broken rib :) which he downplayed on the pain level because of everything else that was going on AND that Dean called Bobby's contacts, told them Bobby had died (which he said he was not going to do) so he could ask them for help with his brother.

[cordelia-gray.livejournal.com]

Sam is also the kind of person who will save people, even when he's dying, just because he can. He's my hero, cheesy as that sounds.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

That is so true and actually, at the end, overlooked. I really do think Dean should have found out what Sam did. HIs little brother is awesome!

[katwoman76.livejournal.com]

I did have the same thought. All the talk about "poor Cas" - and not enough thoughts about how long Sam had to deal with all that.
With his added human problems of has to eat/sleep to keep his body alive and so on.

One thing that makes me mad at the show a lot is how very little they often seem to value Sam.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

That is very true. I fear the writers don't realize exactly how abused Sam has been by them in regards to how things are translating into the fandom.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

i admit that i liked human!castiel, emanuel, because he was still recognizably castiel but without the giant angel stick up his ass. (also i think misha's a good actor and it was nice to see him play another version of his character.) but i'm also totally cool with the fact that the boys left him behind in the psych hospital because i agree with you and everyone else who said the show was kind of taking the focus away from sam&dean's relationship to focus on dean&castiel - the ptb have gone to great lengths to tell us how much dean cares about castiel, for one thing. i think castiel wore out his welcome as a major player back in s5, and the only reason he's still around is because the ptb are playing to the dean/castiel shippers in the audience. and y'know, it's the sam and dean show, or it should be, not sam and dean and castiel.

also i absolutely agree that sam is a lot stronger than anyone - including his brother, and especially spn fen - seems to give him credit for, altho i could kind of handwave that as a result of sam always keeping on keeping on. i mean, he died twice and came back twice, he survived blood addiction and withdrawal, he survived living without a soul, he survived getting his soul back and with it all his memories of being stuck in the cage with lucifer, he survived lucifer yelling in his head, the show started out with him watching his girlfriend burn to death on the ceiling - he's suffered a lot of shit and he keeps coming back from it. so i can kind of buy that dean might take his survival for granted, just because, you know, he's still there. altho by that same token, dean SHOULDN'T be taking sam's survival for granted, because they both know how often it's been in question. i think the fact that dean didn't really kick into action to help sam with lucifer until sam was completely incapacitated and committed to the psych ward kind of indicates that maybe dean didn't realize it was as big a problem as it was, because sam seemed to be dealing with it, more or less. i mean, he could still hunt. which is a testament to how tough he is, really.

and y'know, all the really stupid shit that dean has done in his life - let's start with selling his soul - has been to save his brother. he's never done anything as reckless and stupid for castiel as he's done for sam.

anyway. sam's storyline in 7x17 was my favorite part of the episode, partly because i really like lucifer and i really like that sam is actually suffering consequences of a. being in hell, and b. castiel breaking down his wall, and partly because i loved that even tho he knew he was dying, and he really had much more serious things to deal with, sam helped that girl exorcise her brother's ghost because that's the person he is. saving people, hunting things, the family business. plus which, jared consistently knocks it out of the park with his acting, and i just like watching him be sam.

also? it's about damn time castiel took some responsibilty for his fuckups and the way he's been using the boys for one thing or another since s4. i'm pleased he finally realized the damage he caused and tried to make amends for it. so even tho it makes almost no sense that he could pull lucifer into his head and suffer the exact same way sam did, i'm cool with it, because it means he's accepting responsibility for what he sees as his sins and doing what good and decent people do, which is atone. (and i do think that as an angel of god, which is how he sees himself, it makes sense that he'd be all about admitting his sins and trying to atone for them.)

and also, now we know where he is and what happened to him - and that he's still alive, if plagued by lucifer - sam and dean can get back to the real issue, which is saving the world and each other. please.

wow. clearly i have opinions. *cough* (i knew i had opinions about castiel and his role on the show, but i didn't realize i had such strong feelings about sam too. poor sammy.)

[phx69.livejournal.com]

lol! Let it out. It is nice to have a safe place like this forum to be able to voice the unfairness in how Sam has been treated and the lack of acknowledgement about all he has gone through. Cas had a part to play but it is done and I am glad he is actually atoning for at least one of the horrible things he has done to Sam. I think in doing what he did, he is also trying to atone for more than just crumbling the wall.

[irunredlights.livejournal.com]

I agree 100% with you right now! All I saw on my tumblr dashboard after the episode for a whole week was straight Cas sympathy. Well a)he deserved it (I'm not hatin, I still love that angel) and b)I thought it was so odd how quickly Cas became unstable.
On another note, compare the way he reacted to seeing Lucifer in the hospital to the way he reacted to seeing him back in season 5. Huge difference.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

No kidding - his reaction makes no sense!

[toratio.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with this. Sam has been through so much in his life, and I think his strength doesn't get nearly enough credit. I mean, he managed to HUNT while he was on the verge of dying. And he managed to survive for so long without going over the edge, with wanting to save his brother the thing that did him in.

Yeah, I love Cas, but I've been annoyed too that everything is so much about him coming back, and not what Sam is going through, which is the whole point of the ep, really.

And you're right, it is poetic justice for Cas - I think he knew that, too. It was the only way he could make it right.

[phx69.livejournal.com]

Definitely. It was a clever way for the writers to go, well except for how they had Cas react at the very end. I think sometimes, they get carried away and don't know when to stop.