Sorta

[twilightshours.livejournal.com]

Title: Sorta
Author: twilightshours 
Rating: PG
Characters:  Sam
Word count: 571
Summary: You go to Hell. You come back.
Spoilers: Between S5 and S6, so vague mentioning of 5x22.
Author's Note: Felt like writing, so here's a teeny tiny drabble. I actually enjoyed 6x05- there were some weird parts, but it was good writing, and good cinematography. It made me want to go back and analyze what Sam did when he came back. (Though, this probably isn't near what happened.)
Disclaimer: Uhhh, not mine. If it was, nothing would make any sense.

 

You don't know what you're doing.

You don't have a clue.

And you realize this, somewhere. Really deep down. It's a sorta distant feeling, like someone's shouting it to you but you can only see their mouth move

You're really far away. You feel really far away.

But, stop. You go back to the beginning of all this, see if you can find an answer in all that fog.

You sorta wake up, sorta, like you fell to the ground. Like those dreams everyone has. There's a scientific reason for that. Hypnagogic myoclonic twitch. But you think that's not really what happened. Because, you're here. And you weren't here before.

In Stull Cemetery. It's sorta cold. You're sweating.

Headstones leap outta the ground like stationary rockets, solid shadows. Tomb gargoyles are gazing at you in awe and confusion. You sorta agree with the feeling; you're confused. Where are you? Stull Cemetery. Where are you?

Earth.

The falling sensation doesn't really make sense.

Your head doesn't make sense. You don't wanna be cliché, but it's spinning, and you find yourself waiting for the earth to stop spinning. If you think about it hard enough, you might maybe sorta have a hangover. So you don't think about it at all. You look around again.

The sun could be coming up in half an hour, you think. At least, that's what you think it could be. It might come up in years. Time doesn't really make sense either.

Where are you?

It's extremely hot. You take your jacket off. You might have a bullet hole in your shirt.

You might remember everything. You sorta do. Sorta. Remembering doesn't make you feel any different, though, and that's when you figure out something's sorta wrong.

That's the point you look back on, a year after, and figure out something's sorta wrong.

(You don't do anything about it, do you.)

You shiver, because it's sorta cold, and you start walking.

Those gargoyles are turning their heads, trailing after you. Everything is dead. If stone was alive, it's certainly dead in Stull Cemetery. The air is crisp, dry, not usually what cemeteries feel like. They're usually sorta moist. Because of all the grass and the water used to keep the grass alive. The grass is dead. It's dry.

The stars aren't following you, they're staying behind, or going in the opposite direction, you think. They don't want you with them. You don't really want anything. It's not a weird feeling, to feel nothing.

Looking back, it was never a weird feeling. Looking back, you never felt anything. You never did.

You stop again, think again. You look up. The falling sensation doesn't really... so you close your eyes.

A year later, and you still remember this moment the clearest. You don't think anything of it, don't have an opinion on any of it, even though you find yourself sorta acting like you do. Like it meant the world to you. Like it meant the world to someone else. It did -- does. To someone else. Not to you. It doesn't mean anything to you. It never will. Looking back, you see why it didn't mean anything to anyone. You looked up. You closed your eyes. Looking back, you know they had their eyes closed too.

This moment made you realize something's sorta wrong.

You look up. You close your eyes.

You sorta pray.

Nothing happens.

You try again.

 

Comments

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

Meep!

Maybe it is like this?

I love the eerie, not quite there feeling of this.

[monicawoe.livejournal.com]

Very cool,and very likely!

[dime-for-12.livejournal.com]

I personally love 2nd person narration, and that's probably because it always gives the reader a sense of unreality, even in the most normal setting imaginable. Something always seems off, and when something really is off?

It just highlights it so amazingly (or, could be your just a really great writer *ponders*)

j/k - I loved this so much, because you can look at canon Sam and see this as a possibility for him. Nothing seems real about him because he doesn't feel like any of it is real (maybe - I'm sure next Friday will be blowing this right out of the water, but in the meantime ...)

Thanks for sharing! ♥