ohsam | This is no place like home 4/?.

Title: This is no place like home.
Author:

gooferdusty
Pairing/ Characters: Sam, Dean.(This is gen, for now but will become slash i think!)
Rating: R this chapter
Warnings: None really, apart from it could be spoilery for season 6.(some gore this chapter)
Disclaimer: Not making a penny profit, don't own the boys, no hurt intended, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Summary: There are things that Dean knows are a given. Since his brother's return he isn't so sure anymore. The one place that's home suddenly isn't.
A/N: This is something that my muse leapt on me what with all the season 6 angst flying around. I don't think its too spoilery, but then ive been wrong before! Anyway i figured its about time i took the bull by the horns and attempted to post one of my fics here (more to come with this soon) Not really used to posting on lj so if it all goes belly up you have been warned! This is just a little fic based on season 6, but ive messed about with the story lines and plot points to serve my own purposes.

Sam hoisted his duffel higher on his shoulder. With his other hand he pulled the collar of his coat closed against the cold bite of night air as he walked along the quiet back road. He knew he’d made the right decision leaving his brother, things with Dean were bad. He knew Dean didn’t trust him, hell half the time he didn’t trust himself. So after months of feeling like he was under surveillance, his every move watched and assessed Sam had finally thrown in the towel and left. Dean didn’t want him there, and if he was honest with himself he didn’t really want to be there either. Sam knew something wasn’t right with him, knew his behaviour had been strange since his return. He also knew Dean had noticed, his brother wasn’t stupid and it wasn’t as if the change in his behaviour had been subtle.

What Sam didn’t know was just what was wrong with him. How had he escaped the cage? Why didn’t he need to sleep anymore? Why didn’t he feel hurt at Dean’s lack of trust in him? Come to think of it he didn’t feel anything. Most of the time he felt numb, disconnected from the world around him. It was as if there was a thick layer of fog separating him from reality, allowing nothing through. No emotion, no feelings, no empathy, nothing. Sam worked jobs, he breathed in and out. He existed and that was it. Something was missing, whatever it was that made him who he was just wasn’t there anymore. The problem was Sam didn’t know where to start looking; let alone how to fix it. He just knew that living in Dean’s pocket and pretending everything was fine wasn’t doing him or Dean any good. His brother couldn’t help him with this anyway, this was his problem and it was he alone who could fix it.

So Sam had waited until his brother had left for the bar then he’d packed his things and left. It had taken him seconds to break into a car and hot wire it to life. The rusted out vehicle had made it 250 miles before it finally died just outside of El Paso. So Sam found himself walking alone along the dusty back road. Sam knew the interstate wasn’t far, if the low rumble of traffic in the distance was anything to go by. The interstate meant trucks, trucks meant truck stops and truck stops meant he could hitch a ride to wherever. Sam hadn’t really given his destination much thought as he had peeled out of the motel car park. He thought about going back to Lawrence, to his old home, but realistically he knew a house that had been his home for 6 months 27 years ago wouldn’t hold any answers. He had given serious thought to going back to the cemetery at stull where he’d fallen into the pit but decided against it. Studying the cemetery and its history had been the first thing he’d done on his return, there was nothing more to be found there, and besides if his brother did come looking for him that was likely to be the first place he’d go. Thinking of Dean, Sam was sure his brother wouldn’t bother trying to find him. Sam knew as far as Dean was concerned he wasn’t his little brother anymore. He knew in Dean’s eyes he was an inconvenience, something Dean had been saddled with. He wasn’t sure Dean even thought he was human anymore. Sam needed to think, needed to talk to someone. All of a sudden he knew where he needed to go. He needed to talk to the one person who, after Dean knew him better than anyone.

Dean packed his duffel, stowing it in the Impala’s trunk and was heading over to the office to hand in his room keys and check out when his cell rang.

“Hey Bobby, what’s up?” Dean asked.

“Just checking in, how are things with you boy? How’s Sam?” The old hunter inquired.

“I’m good, things are good." "Oh, unless you count the fact that my brother has been body snatched by god knows what and I’ve been living with a pod person for the last few months, and that’s some feat, considering the size of his gigantor body.” “But meh, other than that, things couldn’t be better.” “How are things your end? you figured out a way to get Sam back yet?"

Dean heard Bobby sigh before he spoke. “I’ve told you, for the last time Dean that is Sam.”

Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed, trying to keep his fraying nerves from shattering altogether. “Look Bobby, i don’t know what line ‘Sam’ or Cas, or whoever sold you but i’m telling you that thing isn’t my brother.”

“Damn it Dean, once and for all, that IS your brother.” “I’m not some wet behind the ears kid on his first hunt.” “You think i didn’t do my homework?” “You think that when Sam turned up on my doorstep i didn’t make damn sure it really was him and not some supernatural freak looking for a little fun.” Bobby bristled.

“And i’m telling you, i know my brother and that is not him.” Dean growled, the thin tether on his temper threatening to snap.

“Whatever, i don’t have time to argue." "I need to speak to Sam, i think i may have found a way to help him.” Bobby replied.

“Help him? help him with what? Why don’t you call Sam’s cell, i’m not sure how good the coverage is on planet zog but hey...” Dean snarked before being interrupted by the old hunters gruff tones.

“LOOK GENIUS.” Bobby shouted, his patience at an end. “Sam isn’t picking up, so if it’s not too much trouble could you put your brother on the damn phone, idjit.”

“Much as i would love to play secretary for Mr Personality i can’t.” Dean said, spinning the motel keys around his finger.

“What do you mean can’t?” “Sam’s alright isn’t he?” Bobby asked, confused.

“Oh i’m sure ‘Sam’ is just fine wherever he is.” Dean quipped.

“What? Are you telling me your brother is out there alone, jesus boy.” Bobby answered.

“One, he ain’t Sam, i don’t know what the hell that thing is but it ain’t my kid brother. And two, it isn’t like he can’t look after himself or itself, or you know, whatever.” Said Dean, a little unnerved by the worried edge to Bobby’s voice.

“Actually it’s a lot like that.”

Dean spun around upon hearing the voice behind him.

“Cas?”

“Hello Dean.” Castiel answered in his oddly flat tone.

“Hello Dean?” “That’s all you got, hello Dean?” “My brother sacrifices his life to stop the apocalypse and you and your angel buddies just forget about him, leave him to his fate?” “I’ve been praying to you for months Cas, for months i’ve been begging for your help and all you’ve got is hello Dean?” Dean finished, breathing hard.

“Dean, i...” The angel began only to be cut off by Dean.

“Save it Cas, all i want to know is can you help me get Sam back yes or no?”

Castiel sighed. “No i cannot.”

Dean felt the anger rising within him, until his chest was constricted with it. Grabbing hold of Castiel’s coat lapels Dean shoved the angel to one side. “Then get the hell out of my way.” Dean snarled at the angel before turning his attention back to his cell. "Both of you." He spat down the phone line ending the call.

Dean turned to make his way back across the parking lot to the motel office.

“Dean wait, you don’t understand, there are things you don’t know about your brother.” Cas pleaded.

Dean stopped, closing his eyes and muttering a curse before he turned around to face Cas once more.

“Then why don’t you enlighten me? You and Bobby been brainstorming? What’s the latest theory on what’s wrong with Sam?” “Come up with any good ones, cuz i gotta tell you, that whole, ‘that is your brother’ shtick ain’t gonna wash anymore.” “Answers Cas, now.” Dean all but growled at the angel.

“He is Sam.” Castiel held up a hand when it looked like Dean was about to interrupt him. “Whether you believe it is irrelevant, the fact remains that he is your brother.” “He has changed, yes." "Bobby and i have been putting together the evidence since Sam’s return from hell.” “But the biggest clue has been the change in his relationship with you.” “But there are still some missing pieces to the puzzle, that is why we must speak with Sam?”

“What evidence? What pieces? Cas what the hell are you talking about.” Dean frowned.

Castiel surveyed their surroundings before turning to look at Dean. “This is not a conversation we should have in the open.”

In the time it took for Dean to blink he was back in his motel room along with Cas and Bobby. Dean was amused, noting Bobby’s slightly green expression. “First time travelling air angel?” At Bobby’s bewildered nod Dean smirked. “Yeh well trust me it doesn’t get any better, and the in flight entertainment sucks.” He said giving Castiel a pointed look.

Castiel shifted in his seat. “Dean.” He said trying to move the conversation on.

“Yeh, ok Cas, you two start talking.” Dean said waving a hand back and forth between the rooms other occupents. “You really think that thing is Sam?” “So convince me, tell me why i should believe you.”