Fic: And this Great Blue World of Ours, Chapter 12

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Title: And this Great Blue World of Ours (Chapter 12)
Author: vail_kagami
Beta: minviendha 
Characters (overall): Dean, Castiel, Sam, plus a number of angels and demons
Rating (overall): NC-17
Warnings (overall): violence, torture, drug use, insanity, mentions of rape
Spoilers: Going AU during episode 5.18: Point of No Return. Vague spoilers for season six.
Words (this chapter): 9,320
Summary: A man wakes up in a ruined wasteland, without memories, without a name, without knowing the strange guy who claims he used to be an angel, or that he once had a little brother. All he knows is that the world is dying, everyone is lying to him and that somehow, somewhere, something went terribly wrong. Because someone said Yes when they should have said No, and someone else paid the price.

Masterpost


And then Castiel punches him in the face.


Author's note: This story, as a whole, is divided into two parts, and this was the finale of the first one. I am already working on the second
part, but I won't start posting it before I have written at least three complete chapters. So there won't be a new chapter in two weeks. Right
now I estimate a break of two or three months.

I'm sorry I have to put in a long break like that, but keeping up the posting scedule is impossible at the moment. I've decided to do this so when the story comes back you will know that a new chapter will be ready every two weeks, just as before.

Some (semi-)final words: When I started posting this story, I didn't think anyone would read it. As it turned out, not many people do, but the readers I've got are exceptionally patient, loyal and enthusiastic. Thank you so much, guys! You keep me writing!



Fic posted at Dreamwidth due to length. Comment anywhere you like.

Comments

[marziebarz.livejournal.com]

Oh God no. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! After everything that happened, Dean being an idiot did not just give Lucifer Sam's soul. NO NO NO!!! Oh God, how am I gonna survive the wait??? I'm freaking out already!

GOD DAMMIT DEAN. THIS IS WHY YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU STUPID STUPID MORON. At least you'll get what you want; you'll get to see your brother again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um what this ranting boils down to is that this was a fantastic chapter, completely brilliant, and I'm holding out hope that Cas is somehow alive and Sam's soul is somehow not in Lucifer's clutches and, just, I WILL HOLD ON HOPE UNTIL I'M PROVEN WRONG. This was seriously an awesome chapter, but the cliffhanger is probably the most epic thing since the actual season finale. I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE!!!

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

I know this is a bad moment for an extended break. (This is also a bad time for a reply because I just drank a lot of vodka on little food and less sleep.)

Dean never intentioned to reveal the lokation of the soul - he didn't even know he knew it.

He didn't rape Sam either, that was just Michael manipulating his memories. He's doing his best, but circumstances are working against him. Just remember, Dean doesn't have the same informatioj we have.


Dean is going to see his brother again, that' right. I guess I can reveal that much!


Anyway, thank you for the comment for the fic and every fic before it!

[marziebarz.livejournal.com]

I kind of love your tipsy typing ^_^

Yeah, um, rational thought prevailed once I stopped freaking out about the ending. Rationally I know Dean would never do that to Sam, but all I was really thinking when I finished reading was NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO =P. Rational thought and I were not on speaking terms, haha.

More calmly excited for the rest of the story!!! =D

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Now had a lot of sleep and am less drunk. :P

I have planned a little interlude/time stamp from Michael's pov which will bring some more clarity there. It will be posted some time during the break.

I think the problem with that scene was that I tried to get into Dean's head à season 5, just eagerated and twisted enough that something like that would make sense. If he wanted even a slight chance that Dean would buy it, Michael had to create thoughts close enough to Dean's real personality. I see now this illusion worked better with the readers that with Dean himself. :)

[marziebarz.livejournal.com]

YAY INTERLUDE =D

Haha yeah it was really convincing. I mean when I read it I knew that there was no way it was actually Dean becuase it was almost a caricature of what Dean could have turned into in Season 5, but then we get to the end of the chapter and I was too busy freaking out to remember anything besides DEAN YOU MORON WHY DIDNT YOU TALK TO CAS or NONONONONONONONONONONO

[(Anonymous)]

No! Wait, it was Dean who raped Sam, not Michael? (crawl under a rock and cry)

Dean told Sam he would feed Sam to Lucifer if he finds himself released from Michael, and he did just that! (crawl back under the rock and cry)

And Sam knew it was Dean and not Michael, and he must have lied to Cas because he didn't see it happen. Cas was already very angry with Dean for saying "yes" and causing Sam to pay the price. No way Cas would have tolerated Dean after Michael released him if Cas knew the truth. (finding a bigger rock to crawl under and cry)

Why Dean why?! To prove to yourself that you were right and that Sam would have said "yes" anyway, only Sam never said "yes". So this was to break Sam and make him give up into saying "yes"? Am I reading this right? This really is the point of no return. How can Dean come back from this?

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Actually, no. The story doesn't have an entirely reliable narrator on this because the POV is bound to Dean who is the one who knowns least of all of them, but he's right in this rfegard: Michael lied to him. Dean didn't rape Sam, that was just Michael manipulating his "memories" accordingly.

Dean can come back because he knows it wasn't thrue. There are going to be other thing that will be hard to deal with for him.

[(Anonymous)]

Whew! Thanks for the clarification because Dean could never NEVER come back from that, though his words were excruciatingly painful too. Sam, as always, have great faith in his brother; he's probably the only one who still does as Castiel has never let go of his anger and resentment and told Dean to his face that he didn't deserved Sam's faith.

[4422shini.livejournal.com]

*fails* what a place to leave off!!!
OMG, Dean! OMG, Cas! OMG, Sam!!
What an emotional ride. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading this fic and it's never failed to put me on the edge of my seat. I'm looking forward to Act II!

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

There will be one time stamp posted during the break. It'll be from Michael's pov and shed some light on his motivations.

[sinka.livejournal.com]

Honestly? I read this episode the moment you released it, but I had to keep away from the computer for two days because I was simply unable to comment on it without bursting into tears or smashing my keyboard. In fact, I'm still kind of in shock... Because Cas is dead and Sam's soul is in Lucifer's hands, I can't believe it and I can't get over it. It's such a terrible, cruel thing to happen that everytime I think about it, I just can't...

Because EVERYONE and their mother knew that it was a trap!! Dean suspected it and Castiel KNEW it! but as much as he still had a grudge with Dean, he still couldn't help believing in him! Believing thad Dean was still worth it, that he was still the friend he fell for, that he didn't really knew when he said 'Yes' what the consequences of his act would be... why would he leave a note for Dean after the ritual otherwise?

That's why Castiel's death is so incredibly cruel. Because he has died thinking everything he has done has been in vain, thinkin that not only that he has failed in his mission to keep Sam safe, but also thinking he has been deliberately betrayed by the only other person in the world that really mattered to him. Thinking he has left Sam totally alone at the mercy of the angels and a brother that won't hesitate to hurt him even more to make him say 'Yes'. Cas has died thinking he's abandoning Sam in the worst possible scenario. Cas has died without hope.

And everything because this Dean is INCREDIBLY STUPID!!! First running away cowardly (ahhh... that punch was *so* rewarding) and then letting that sonovabitch Michael touch inside his mind when he clearly didn't trust him!!! and why he didn't say something to Cas when all his instincs were telling him something was wrong? you STUPID! STUPID!!!

By the way, I didn't realize until this chapter that Sam's soul was inside Castiel until the "flashback", but it really makes total sense. Nowhere else would Sam felt safe and that's why Castiel couldn't ever risk to be captured or to ever die.

Speaking of the flashback... that was really tough... difficult to read. Not only imagining how many times Sam has resucitated inside solid concrete only to die inmediately again of suffocation (I can't imagine worse death than that) and go to hell. But also because we see him regain some hope only for it to be broken again and to be raped by an adultered and mocking version of his brother. Because Michael used Dean's doubts and lower thoughts and manipulated them to torture Sam in the worst way. No wonder Sam avoided Michael from then on because knowing Sam, even if he wants to believe it wasn't Dean, his lack of self-worth and self-steem is so great that he probably still thinks that that's what Dean thinks of him deep inside.

So, yeah, you were right, it's a terrible horrible cliffhanger and I hate what happened. But I can wait until you're ready to post again because even if you think I'm a hopeless optimistic, I want to believe everything is going to be okay. I want to think that during the years Sam has spend inside Cas (protected also by Jimmy, and you can't even imagine how much do I love that idea or how beautiful and moving was the whole ritual, their trust and love was overwhelming) he has regained some of his strengh. When it looks like Sam is at the end of his rope, he always surprises us, so I'm sure he still won't say 'Yes' right away. He will be strong and resist until his brother comes to his rescue (even if he doesn't know rescue is coming).

And I think that and now that Dean really knows what's the angels game is he's going to regain his memories (I don't mind Michael is keeping those memories away on purpose, I still believe the key is Dean *wanting* to remember) and go to SAVE HIM!! Maybe with Jean's help or Crowley's help, or both.

And what's more, I think maybe Castiel can come back, because God needs to make some kind of movement, damn it! I simply refuse to believe he's gone for good!!

Thank you very much again giving us the oportunity to read this amazing story. I've told you before, but you're amazingly talented (eventhough you use your powers for EVIL!!!) and this is, without a doubt, the best story I've read in any fandom EVER. Period.

[vail-kagami.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's quite some praise there at the end. Thank you so much!
I'm so happy I got you as a reader.

I wish I could comment on your speculations, but I don't want to give anything away.

Dean did deserve that punch. He knew it, too.

Before the next act starts, I'll post a timestamp that sheds some light on Michael's motivations. It nothing else, it'll break up the wait some.

[sinka.livejournal.com]

Uuhh... I kind of prefer you not saying anything about my speculations because I'm afraid you'll crush all my hopes and I'll fall in a pit of despair and how will I wait for two/three months THEN????

Dean surely deserved that punch, and maybe a good kick. Still very much looking forward to his gigantic guilt-trip the moment he recovers his memories. Hopefully at the beginning of act two. Although not looking forward at all to poor Sam coming back to life to think he's alone with lucifer... that's if Lucifer doesn't send him first to help for a while to soften him up... that's going to hurt.

A timestamp from Michael's pov sounds good. I don't think I'll ever see things his way, but it's always interesting to enter a psychopath and torturer's mind to see how he reasons and excuses all the unforgivable things he deemes necessary without really knowing or understanding anything. Kind of like American Psycho.

You got me all right, be sure that whatever you write I'll be there to devour it!! And you are not nearly as glad to have as a reader as I am that I stumbled upon one of your fics one day, my friend! *huggles*